Episode 123 features Bella, a crossdresser living in the Midwestern United States. Here’s our Q&A with her.
How old are you and where are you from?
I am a 38 year old male and live in the midwest
What brings you to the podcast?
I am here at the CrossYAAS podcast because I would like to begin the process of being more open about my crossdressing and also would like to help normalize it in the world. The more we put ourselves out there , the more normal it becomes
Do you consider yourself a crossdresser? Why or why not? How’d you come to that conclusion?
I have considered myself a crossdresser all my life until recently , before all I knew was that I liked to wear female clothing, but now I feel like I show gender fluid tendencies as i don’t necessarily have to be fully dressed in female attire to be happy. Most days I’m happy with a pair of female skinny jeans and an Under Armour shirt
How would you identify with your gender identity? Do you think you fall under the transgender umbrella? Why or why not?
Definitely fall under the transgender umbrella , although I don’t necessarily like to claim it since I don’t really get as persecuted as they do since I can hide it from everyone I want to hide it from (which hopefully that will change soon )
How would you classify your sexuality? How did you come to terms with that?
I think I am straight but bi curious. I have experimented with same sex relationships, and it was alright, I guess I just prefer females
You’ve talked about your work as a pastor with Giselle in your Curi – YAAS Conversation with her. What made you decide to become a pastor and did you experience any personal conflict with the church and your own gender identity?
I felt it was a calling from above, and I don’t think I personally felt any conflict with the church as it is a private matter. However if it was public, yes they would be in conflict , most likely I would be asked to leave the pastoral staff
You live in the midwest and are still searching for more outlets to be Bella. What are your current methods in achieving that goal? Are you satisfied with those measures? If not, what more do you wish you could do?
Bella comes out on trips that I make for work , and through doing a lot of buying at Victoria’s Secret and Ross. I also love visiting thrift stores too, LOL. I have a huge closet! I am satisfied for now, but wish I could do more. I have no problem going into stores and buying and trying female clothes in the dressing rooms , however, I wish I could go in there dressed as Bella and have a nice shopping spree. Maybe even one day, I hope to go to Sephora and get a makeover.
What effect has COVID – 19 had on you being Bella? How has the pandemic affected your life and the expression of your gender identity?
COVID-19 has been hard as there has been less time to dress up since all the kids were home for remote school. So for now, the only times I have for myself is at night or right before I go to work in the mornings.
What would you say your style is? You talk about being thrifty but what does that mean? What kind of fashion sense do you have?
My style is someone elegant / business with a hint of gym girl and classic slut next door in private.
You may not be buying expensive clothes, so then, what’s your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit? Do you dress differently in private than you do in public?
I love cocktail dresses from Ross , and also Victoria’s Secret sportswear. Their sport bras and lingerie are amazing! I did like to dress a bit slutty at home, with really high heels and tiny short dresses. As I mentioned before, I love wearing mostly skinny jeans out in public, even if you can definitely tell they are woman jeans. They feel absolutely wonderful.
What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?
I wished I would have been more out in public sooner, so that I could put this struggle behind me and my kids would have been introduced to Bella at a very young age.
We obviously know a lot about Bella in your talk with Giselle… tell us something you omitted about Bella that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast!
I don’t think I omitted anything important, however I do feel like the conversation moved towards a religious convo and just hope I don’t bored people , I guess I did omit some NSFW things, but I didn’t feel like it had to be shared right away, hehe
What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/other individuals?
I would tell them to just be yourself no matter what. People are gonna love you or hate you regardless of what your tendencies might be so come out early to your partners and love ones. Trust me. This will allow you to be happier in your daily life. Some will, some won’t, so what? I know I sound hypocritical as I am having a hard time doing that myself , but I’m working on it. Once I know my kids won’t be affected by this, I will definitely be more open
Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?
Definitely, if you’re listening to this and want to find an outlet, what better way than sharing it to stranger, we only have 5 listeners anyways , LOL. For real though , it felt good to finally open up to someone , even if I have never met Giselle , it felt great having her listen to me and it made me feel like I am worthy, thanks Giselle!