In episode 121, Daphne, a crossdresser living in Florida, comes on the podcast to tell her story. Here’s our Q&A with her.
How old are you and where are you from?
63 years old, Miami, FL
What brings you to the podcast?
I searched up “Crossdressing” on the podcast app and wanted to see what was out there. I found three and CrossYaas was by far the best
Do you consider yourself a crossdresser? Why or why not? How’d you come to that conclusion?
I am, but only because I have the desire, and I’ve done it before. And I liked it.
How would you identify with your gender identity? Do you think you fall under the transgender umbrella? Why or why not?
I don’t think about those things much, and from what I’ve read about the definition of transgender, I would say no, only because I don’t have the desire to dress full time. If someone said that transgender included part-time CDers, then I’m fine with that. It doesn’t matter to me how people categorize these types of things; for me, it’s very personal and I don’t need to fit it into a category.
How would you classify your sexuality? How did you come to terms with that?
I’m a straight male. I love women. Adore them. And, like most crossdressers, want to express as them, and feel that femininity. I believe that all males are part female, and therefore expressing female-ness is not something bizarre or outlandish–it’s a natural, important expression. I’m fine with being just as I am, so there’s nothing to come to terms about.
You talked about being a late bloomer in terms of being a crossdresser in your Curi – YAAS conversation with Giselle. What took you so long girl? How were you able to suppress those feelings of being Daphne for so long?
It took me a long time to throw off the yoke of society’s guidelines for how we are supposed to act. How I decide to express myself, how I decide to dress, is entirely my business, but it took me a long time to unravel all the conditioning that most males are put through, to achieve the confidence in myself to accept Daphne as a part of me. The suppression of those feelings manifested in powerful, sometimes non-stop lesbian fantasies. So I just lived that way, not really realizing that those fantasies were the way Daphne was calling out to me.
You’re a 63-year-old crossdresser. How do you keep your sexual drive so high? What advice can you offer someone who doesn’t have that high of a libido, and how can one possibly attain it?
A positive life attitude. Lots of masturbation- the fantasies led to lots of hard-ons, so those had to be relieved, right? I believe now that masturbating frequently exercises not only the penile muscle, but our sexual spirit muscles as well. It keeps them alive and thriving.
What effect has COVID – 19 had on you being Daphne? You talk about recently coming out more as Daphne.. But how have you felt about Daphne since the pandemic started?
The pandemic hasn’t made a big difference. Right after the pandemic began, I lost a very close family member in a car accident. I was dealing with that for most of the year, and so coming out wasn’t really on the agenda- grief and adjustment to a new job kind of hijacked my mindset
What would you say your style is? You’re still developing it sounds like, but what do you gravitate towards? What kind of fashion sense do you have?
I don’t dress often- yet- but I lean towards looser skirts and dresses…knee length and shorter. I like the feeling of my long legs being exposed and I’m not interested in tight clothing.
You may not own a lot of clothes as you’re still building a wardrobe. But what’s your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit?
I have nothing right now except two skirts and a bunch of panties…I love my panties…and I’ve seen some really pretty dresses I want to have. So I don’t have a go-to–yet.
What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?
Only that I should have come out to my wife about this at the onset of our relationship. It would have allowed more time for us to process, and it would have avoided her feeling like I kept something secret from her, even though I never dressed secretly while I was with her, I only had the desires.
We obviously know a lot about Daphne in your talk with Giselle… tell us something you omitted about Daphne that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast!
Daphne is sweet, kind, and loves talking to other women. But other than that, no.
What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/other individuals?
Don’t let fear motivate you. Be yourself–be HONEST and OPEN with your S.O. – Dont worry about what others (other than job, etc) will think. Live life to the fullest. If someone really loves you, they will work hard to learn and accept you. Come out EARLY in the game. Don’t wait.
Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?
Absolutely! It’s a fantastic forum for CDers to vent, and learn about themselves through others experiences. I love it.