The CrossYaas Podcast

In episode 137, Giselle talks to Arris, a 41-year-old, non-binary, genderfluid person from the East Coast of the United States, who comes on the podcast to tell their truly unique story.

In episode 135 and 136, Nicole L. comes on the podcast to tell her story. Here's our Q&A with her.

How old are you and where are you from?

I'm 33-years-old and from Ireland.

What brings you to the podcast?

I love the podcast and really wanted to reach out and find out more about our community and offer my experience as it may help someone listening.

How do you feel about the term crossdresser? Do you agree with the word? Is it an outdated term? Are you yourself a crossdresser? If so, how’d you come to that conclusion?

I prefer the term crossdresser to more derogatory terms like tranny or shemale. I think it's a self explanatory term. I am a crossdresser because I love being femme dressed up 😊

With regards to your gender identity, you seem to not care about labels really, when you were speaking with Giselle in your Curi - YAAS conversation with her. So how would you classify your gender identity? Do you think we should just get rid of labels entirely?

Labels to me are confusing at times lol. It seems like there's a new one every year. So to someone that doesn't know anything about our community it must be even more confusing. But on the other hand labels are important to some people to help them feel like they belong.

Personally I think society has created too many ways to be a person, by that I mean I think we should be able to just be ourselves without judgment or labels, just be the person you want to be. As long as its not harming anyone else what does it matter what you call it 😊

With regards to your sexuality, you seem to be into women as you do have a fiancee (congratulations by the way!). How did you come to terms with that? The idea that you're into women. Have you experimented at all with same sex relationships?

Thank you 😊 I've always respected women and have had girlfriends from middle school onward. I've never looked at guys that way. I do find other trans women attractive as I'm attracted to the female form 😊

You spoke about many things with Giselle, and one thing that made an impression was that you do have a 9-year-old son and you expressed worries about him discovering your Nicole alter ego. Do you feel any shame with Nicole when it comes to your son? What steps could you take to help your son understand what Nicole means to you? Or do you want to try and separate Nicole in your relationship with your son?

I don't feel shame as such, more concern as although even if he knew and was fine with it, I'd be concerned if he told his friends at school as kids can be cruel. I don't want him to experience ridicule because of me.

I don't think any steps would need to be taken to help him understand as he's been brought up to respect others. Unfortunately not every parent brings their children up this way and therefore it's best to wait until he's a little older. I will most likely tell him sometime 😊

If Nicole is an alter ego of your male self, what differences, if any, do you notice when you're Nicole versus you in guy mode?

I'm more relaxed in girl mode. Guy me has his baggage and Nicole doesn't carry it for him lol

You live in Ireland and you talked a little bit about the unique qualities the Irish have when it comes to the LGBTQ community in terms of acceptance. In your opinion, does the outlook of the LGBTQ community for Ireland look more positive, negative, or the same, and why?

I think its a positive outlook. For the most part I think people want to be more open minded and accepting. The LGBTQ community is supported in Ireland. Gay marriage is legal here and during pride month there are rainbow flags flown everywhere 😊

With over 27 thousand followers on Instagram, and an increasing online presence, how do you feel about being a so-called "influencer?" Do you consider yourself that? What does that even mean to you?

I don't consider my self an influencer to be honest. If I'm helping people or just making them smile then I'll keep posting. But mainly I do it for a confidence boost. I'm an extremely insecure person really so, putting myself out there in the spotlight of social media is me pushing myself to be more confident. 

COVID-19 has been a struggle for all of us, but how has Nicole been affected by the pandemic?

Nicole has had it easy lol guy me had some ups and downs but for the most part it's been OK. Others have had it worse.

What would you say Nicole's style is? Tell us about your fashion sense and how you developed it!

Fashion has been a turbulent ride 😅 I've styled Nicole's look after many iconic females such as Audrey Hepburn, Christina agulara etc. I've just kept colour in my look. 

What's your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit?

Skater skirts! I love them 💜 also bodycon dresses because who doesn't love them? They're sexy! Lingerie obviously 😍

What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?

I wish I could tell 15 year old me that your not a freak, your not alone and that it's gonna be OK. I wish I had accepted myself sooner, been braver, stronger... Been myself 😔

We obviously know a lot about Nicole in your talk with Giselle…but tell us something you omitted about Nicole that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast!

Well being a crossdresser means you get to see life from a different prospective. You see it from a woman's perspective. It makes us more intuitive and aware of our partners needs. It's easy to forget just how lucky we are to experience that thought process as most of us spend a long time trying to suppress it. I say embrace it!

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/genderfluid/other individuals?

Don't be afraid to be yourself! Don't be ashamed of yourself! Don't let the haters get you down! You are different yes, but your uniqueness makes you special and the ones that appreciate that uniqueness are the ones worth your time.

Anything that costs your mental health is too expensive, so if you feel down about purging, shame or dysphoria ask yourself this question... Why am I letting the opinions of those around shape my future?

This world can be ugly and it can consume the unique beauty it holds within. But can be strong enough to weather it, you can be bold enough to be different and you can be bitchy enough to screw you to those who oppose you 😘

How will you approach Nicole moving forward? Does anything change after being on the podcast?

Nicole will stay the same sassy girl she's become. Her makeup may change her style may alter, but her flare is permanent 😊 the podcast was a great experience. Talking to Giselle really helped me come out of my comfort zone. Also she's the first crossdresser I'd spoken to in outside of DMs so that was great 😊

Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?

Absolutely YAAS!! It's an incredible resource for information for both crossdressers and their partners. Giselle is such an inspiration and a credit to the community. 😊

And finally, where can people support and follow Nicole on social media!
My Instagram and Tik Tok user name is x1xnicolex1x if you guys and girls wanna follow me 😘