Episode 123 features Bella, a crossdresser living in the Midwestern United States. Here's our Q&A with her.
How old are you and where are you from?
I am a 38 year old male and live in the midwest
What brings you to the podcast?
I am here at the CrossYAAS podcast because I would like to begin the process of being more open about my crossdressing and also would like to help normalize it in the world. The more we put ourselves out there , the more normal it becomes
Do you consider yourself a crossdresser? Why or why not? How’d you come to that conclusion?
I have considered myself a crossdresser all my life until recently , before all I knew was that I liked to wear female clothing, but now I feel like I show gender fluid tendencies as i don't necessarily have to be fully dressed in female attire to be happy. Most days I'm happy with a pair of female skinny jeans and an Under Armour shirt
How would you identify with your gender identity? Do you think you fall under the transgender umbrella? Why or why not?
Definitely fall under the transgender umbrella , although I don't necessarily like to claim it since I don't really get as persecuted as they do since I can hide it from everyone I want to hide it from (which hopefully that will change soon )
How would you classify your sexuality? How did you come to terms with that?
I think I am straight but bi curious. I have experimented with same sex relationships, and it was alright, I guess I just prefer females
You’ve talked about your work as a pastor with Giselle in your Curi - YAAS Conversation with her. What made you decide to become a pastor and did you experience any personal conflict with the church and your own gender identity?
I felt it was a calling from above, and I don't think I personally felt any conflict with the church as it is a private matter. However if it was public, yes they would be in conflict , most likely I would be asked to leave the pastoral staff
You live in the midwest and are still searching for more outlets to be Bella. What are your current methods in achieving that goal? Are you satisfied with those measures? If not, what more do you wish you could do?
Bella comes out on trips that I make for work , and through doing a lot of buying at Victoria's Secret and Ross. I also love visiting thrift stores too, LOL. I have a huge closet! I am satisfied for now, but wish I could do more. I have no problem going into stores and buying and trying female clothes in the dressing rooms , however, I wish I could go in there dressed as Bella and have a nice shopping spree. Maybe even one day, I hope to go to Sephora and get a makeover.
What effect has COVID - 19 had on you being Bella? How has the pandemic affected your life and the expression of your gender identity?
COVID-19 has been hard as there has been less time to dress up since all the kids were home for remote school. So for now, the only times I have for myself is at night or right before I go to work in the mornings.
What would you say your style is? You talk about being thrifty but what does that mean? What kind of fashion sense do you have?
My style is someone elegant / business with a hint of gym girl and classic slut next door in private.
You may not be buying expensive clothes, so then, what's your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit? Do you dress differently in private than you do in public?
I love cocktail dresses from Ross , and also Victoria's Secret sportswear. Their sport bras and lingerie are amazing! I did like to dress a bit slutty at home, with really high heels and tiny short dresses. As I mentioned before, I love wearing mostly skinny jeans out in public, even if you can definitely tell they are woman jeans. They feel absolutely wonderful.
What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?
I wished I would have been more out in public sooner, so that I could put this struggle behind me and my kids would have been introduced to Bella at a very young age.
We obviously know a lot about Bella in your talk with Giselle… tell us something you omitted about Bella that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast!
I don't think I omitted anything important, however I do feel like the conversation moved towards a religious convo and just hope I don't bored people , I guess I did omit some NSFW things, but I didn't feel like it had to be shared right away, hehe
What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/other individuals?
I would tell them to just be yourself no matter what. People are gonna love you or hate you regardless of what your tendencies might be so come out early to your partners and love ones. Trust me. This will allow you to be happier in your daily life. Some will, some won't, so what? I know I sound hypocritical as I am having a hard time doing that myself , but I'm working on it. Once I know my kids won't be affected by this, I will definitely be more open
Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?
Definitely, if you're listening to this and want to find an outlet, what better way than sharing it to stranger, we only have 5 listeners anyways , LOL. For real though , it felt good to finally open up to someone , even if I have never met Giselle , it felt great having her listen to me and it made me feel like I am worthy, thanks Giselle!
Episode 123 features Bella, a 38-year-old crossdressing pastor from the Midwest, who comes on the podcast to share her story, in another Curi -YAAS conversation with host Giselle Mirasol.
Episode 122 might be triggering for some, but it's a Round Table Discussion with Giselle, Meegan, and Dottie reacting to a video that features a woman angry that she saw a "man with a penis" in a Los Angeles public spa.
In episode 121, Daphne, a crossdresser living in Florida, comes on the podcast to tell her story. Here's our Q&A with her.
How old are you and where are you from?
63 years old, Miami, FL
What brings you to the podcast?
I searched up "Crossdressing" on the podcast app and wanted to see what was out there. I found three and CrossYaas was by far the best
Do you consider yourself a crossdresser? Why or why not? How’d you come to that conclusion?
I am, but only because I have the desire, and I've done it before. And I liked it.
How would you identify with your gender identity? Do you think you fall under the transgender umbrella? Why or why not?
I don't think about those things much, and from what I've read about the definition of transgender, I would say no, only because I don't have the desire to dress full time. If someone said that transgender included part-time CDers, then I'm fine with that. It doesn't matter to me how people categorize these types of things; for me, it's very personal and I don't need to fit it into a category.
How would you classify your sexuality? How did you come to terms with that?
I'm a straight male. I love women. Adore them. And, like most crossdressers, want to express as them, and feel that femininity. I believe that all males are part female, and therefore expressing female-ness is not something bizarre or outlandish--it's a natural, important expression. I'm fine with being just as I am, so there's nothing to come to terms about.
You talked about being a late bloomer in terms of being a crossdresser in your Curi - YAAS conversation with Giselle. What took you so long girl? How were you able to suppress those feelings of being Daphne for so long?
It took me a long time to throw off the yoke of society's guidelines for how we are supposed to act. How I decide to express myself, how I decide to dress, is entirely my business, but it took me a long time to unravel all the conditioning that most males are put through, to achieve the confidence in myself to accept Daphne as a part of me. The suppression of those feelings manifested in powerful, sometimes non-stop lesbian fantasies. So I just lived that way, not really realizing that those fantasies were the way Daphne was calling out to me.
You’re a 63-year-old crossdresser. How do you keep your sexual drive so high? What advice can you offer someone who doesn’t have that high of a libido, and how can one possibly attain it?
A positive life attitude. Lots of masturbation- the fantasies led to lots of hard-ons, so those had to be relieved, right? I believe now that masturbating frequently exercises not only the penile muscle, but our sexual spirit muscles as well. It keeps them alive and thriving.
What effect has COVID - 19 had on you being Daphne? You talk about recently coming out more as Daphne.. But how have you felt about Daphne since the pandemic started?
The pandemic hasn't made a big difference. Right after the pandemic began, I lost a very close family member in a car accident. I was dealing with that for most of the year, and so coming out wasn't really on the agenda- grief and adjustment to a new job kind of hijacked my mindset
What would you say your style is? You’re still developing it sounds like, but what do you gravitate towards? What kind of fashion sense do you have?
I don't dress often- yet- but I lean towards looser skirts and dresses...knee length and shorter. I like the feeling of my long legs being exposed and I'm not interested in tight clothing.
You may not own a lot of clothes as you’re still building a wardrobe. But what's your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit?
I have nothing right now except two skirts and a bunch of panties...I love my panties...and I've seen some really pretty dresses I want to have. So I don't have a go-to--yet.
What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?
Only that I should have come out to my wife about this at the onset of our relationship. It would have allowed more time for us to process, and it would have avoided her feeling like I kept something secret from her, even though I never dressed secretly while I was with her, I only had the desires.
We obviously know a lot about Daphne in your talk with Giselle… tell us something you omitted about Daphne that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast!
Daphne is sweet, kind, and loves talking to other women. But other than that, no.
What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/other individuals?
Don't let fear motivate you. Be yourself--be HONEST and OPEN with your S.O. - Dont worry about what others (other than job, etc) will think. Live life to the fullest. If someone really loves you, they will work hard to learn and accept you. Come out EARLY in the game. Don't wait.
Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?
Absolutely! It's a fantastic forum for CDers to vent, and learn about themselves through others experiences. I love it.
Episode 121 features Daphne, a 63-year-old crossdresser from Florida, who tells her story in another installment of Curi - YAAS conversations with Giselle Mirasol.