The CrossYaas Podcast

Episode 133 features René, a crossdresser from the Netherlands. Here's our Q&A with her!

How old are you and where are you from? 

I am 28 years old and I'm from the Netherlands

What brings you to the podcast? 

To find like minded people who you can offer support and swap ideas with.

How do you feel about the term crossdresser? Are you comfortable with the term? Do you agree with the word? Are you yourself a crossdresser? If so, how’d you come to that conclusion? 

In some ways yes, I consider myself a crossdresser, and in some ways no. Yes because as a male or female, you are dressing in clothes of the other sex and try to act like you are that gender. Then again, I also think no, because why do we need to have names and boxes for everything? People should be able to dress up how they want, regardless of their sex, and don’t necessarily need labels for everything.

How would you identify with your gender identity? You said you’re a crossdresser in your chat with Giselle, but what does that say about your gender identity? Do you think you fall under the transgender umbrella? Why or why not? 

I don't see my self as a transgender because I am happy with who I am as a male and my crossdressing is just a part of me.

How would you classify your sexuality? How did you come to terms with that? 

I would say I am bisexual. I found that out after liking a boy on a holiday and I liked intimate contact with him, but I do find women attractive a bit more.

When speaking with Giselle, you talked a lot about being “in a mood” when becoming René. Can you elaborate more on that? What does that mean? What kind of moods are we talking about? 

It's a state of mind I’m in. When I'm stressed, it tends to trigger this state and becoming René is a big stress reliever for me. Also when I see cute things, I want to bring her out.

You live in the Netherlands and your country seems so accepting of LGBTQ individuals and crossdressers. How do you think your country became that way? Do you recommend more people from Europe and around the world move to the Netherlands if they feel like they can’t be themselves? 

I think it has to do a lot with the history of this country and that Dutch people are more down to earth. Of course, there are people who don't accept others, but most do as I feel most people feel like you should live how you want to live. Would I recommend my country? No, not really. The weather is crap and politically speaking, it’s a real mess here. 

You talked a little about your parents not being so accepting of your bisexuality and you touched a little on your crossdressing with them. Do you think they’ll ever understand your gender identity and/or your sexuality? Are you okay with them knowing or not knowing? 

Honestly it is what it is. I stopped caring about this a long time ago. If they don't understand then they don't and if they don't know about my crossdressing then I'm all okay with that.

COVID-19 has been a struggle for all of us, how has René been affected by the pandemic?

Not that much really. Occasionally I’ll go out for a walk, but I still do not go out as much like I used to, but more because of COVID. My work got a lot more busy which meant less free time, so if anything, that has had a much bigger impact. 

What would you say your style is? Tell us about your fashion sense! 

I don't have a fashion sense! haha its really bad, but I always try to go for rock/alternative, gothy types of fashion.

What's your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit?

Boots, skinny jeans, definitely a leopard band shirt, and a denim jacket is my favorite outfit when I go outside.

What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets? 

I wish I was more honest with myself earlier. That’s all. 

We obviously know a lot about René in your talk with Giselle… tell us something you omitted about René that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast! 

Nothing I can think of right now. Maybe something will come up later. Only thing I can think of is my new instagram username is: rene_reinetsu 

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/genderfluid/other individuals? 

Listen to your own body and mind. Nobody else but yourself knows how you feel or want to dress.

Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?

Fuck yes this community is amazing and gives a lot of support.

How will you approach René moving forward? Does anything change after being on the podcast?

Il continue to listen more to her and treat her better than I did in the past.

Episode 131 and 132 feature Claire, a 31-year-old genderfluid crossdresser currently living in Portland, Oregon. Here's our Q&A with her

How old are you and where are you from?

I’m 31 years old and I’m originally from the Midwest of the United States.

What brings you to the podcast?

I have heard many other peoples’ stories and wanted to share mine to pay it forward and in hopes that it helps someone else as other peoples’ stories have helped me.

How do you feel about the term crossdresser? Do you agree with the word? Are you yourself a crossdresser? If so, how’d you come to that conclusion?

I feel that the term crossdresser carries a negative connotation to it.

I would consider myself a crossdresser, however I also feel that the term does not fully encapsulate who I am as a person, where as genderfluid/non-binary seems to be more fitting.

I realized I am a crossdresser, but I feel like it goes beyond the clothes, wig, and makeup. 

How would you identify with your gender identity? You said Non-binary genderfluid with your chat with Giselle. But do you think you fall under the transgender umbrella? Why or why not?

I absolutely fit under the transgender umbrella as my sense of identity does not completely match up with my birth sex. Non-binary/Genderfluid helps me communicate that I don’t fully identify with either gender binaries and that I my motivation to dress up as Claire changes day to day. 

How would you classify your sexuality? How did you come to terms with that?

I would say I’m attracted to femininity, but also to a certain degree pansexual, but I have yet to explore the boundaries of that.

I would say some therapy and introspection have helped me shed the layers of shame surrounding who I am and who I am attracted to.

Also the CrossYAAS podcast helped a ton as well!

You said many things to Giselle, and one thing that stood out was your relationship with your parents. Do you regret not coming out to them sooner? Are you satisfied with how it all went down the way it did?

I personally do not regret telling them sooner. I’ve always had a feeling they wouldn’t react well, and I felt I needed a layer of social support to be able to work up the courage to come out to them without needing their approval. I am happy the way I did it because I felt like they were able to understand that I was serious and that I cared about them. 

You seem so laid back with the crossdressing and your gender identity. How did you get to be this way? You make it seem so easy! What is your secret?

I recognized from a young age that this will always be a part of me, so I kind of accepted that it was here to stay whether I liked it or not. While it has caused some issues with previous relationships, I also know that it has made me a much more empathetic person and I wouldn’t be the person I am today without it. It’s taken me a long time to realize it's not harming anyone, that it is a form of self-expression, and that my friends, that I’ve come out to, do truly just want me to be happy regardless of how I present myself. Also I realized that most people ultimately are too busy in their lives to care about other people's life choices, and if they do care that’s just kind of weird.

COVID-19 has been a struggle for all of us, how has your Claire self been affected with the pandemic?

I feel that COVID-19 has been a struggle for everyone. I would say Claire got a lot of time to hone her makeup skills, but similar to everyone was just ready to get back out and socialize. 

What would you say your style is? Tell us about your fashion sense!

I love clothes that make me feel cute. I love anything flowy and practical. It feels nice to wear a high waisted skirt because you can be bloated and still look good. I guess a good portion of my style is dictated by Target as well. It’s super fun to experiment, but currently my style is cute and casual. 

What's your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit?

I don’t currently have any go-to outfits, but I’d say if I had to throw something on quickly that works in most situations is a nice green wrap dress that has pocket and brown chunky block heel strappy sandals.

What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?

I don’t really have any regrets in life as it has all led me to be where I am today. However, it  would have been nicer if I got to where I am today at a younger age. 

We obviously know a lot about Claire in your talk with Giselle… tell us something you omitted about Claire that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast!

I love music, food, hiking, video games, movies, makeup and oxford commas.

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/genderfluid/other individuals?

Be your best self, experiment, think about what brings you the most joy, and don’t feel shame for what society may not accept. Also put yourself out there more, do things that make you a bit nervous, and experience what life has to offer. 

Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?

For this question, I would have to give a big fat YAAS. 

This podcast has helped me a ton in understanding my dressing and has helped me view my dressing in a non-shameful way. 

The CrossYAAS discord is a wonderful source of support and has absolutely enriched my life since joining.

I used to see my crossdressing as a negative side of myself that I acknowledged, now I see it as something beautiful that makes me a unique individual. 

How will you approach Claire moving forward? Does anything change after being on the podcast? 

I’ll probably approach my Claire side the same as before. I’ll keep pushing myself to put myself out there more. Hopefully my story will resonate with others and inspire them to live their lives more authentically.