Tag: Q&A

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Curi – YAAS Conversation with René Q & A!

Episode 133 features René, a crossdresser from the Netherlands. Here’s our Q&A with her!

How old are you and where are you from? 

I am 28 years old and I’m from the Netherlands

What brings you to the podcast? 

To find like minded people who you can offer support and swap ideas with.

How do you feel about the term crossdresser? Are you comfortable with the term? Do you agree with the word? Are you yourself a crossdresser? If so, how’d you come to that conclusion? 

In some ways yes, I consider myself a crossdresser, and in some ways no. Yes because as a male or female, you are dressing in clothes of the other sex and try to act like you are that gender. Then again, I also think no, because why do we need to have names and boxes for everything? People should be able to dress up how they want, regardless of their sex, and don’t necessarily need labels for everything.

How would you identify with your gender identity? You said you’re a crossdresser in your chat with Giselle, but what does that say about your gender identity? Do you think you fall under the transgender umbrella? Why or why not? 

I don’t see my self as a transgender because I am happy with who I am as a male and my crossdressing is just a part of me.

How would you classify your sexuality? How did you come to terms with that? 

I would say I am bisexual. I found that out after liking a boy on a holiday and I liked intimate contact with him, but I do find women attractive a bit more.

When speaking with Giselle, you talked a lot about being “in a mood” when becoming René. Can you elaborate more on that? What does that mean? What kind of moods are we talking about? 

It’s a state of mind I’m in. When I’m stressed, it tends to trigger this state and becoming René is a big stress reliever for me. Also when I see cute things, I want to bring her out.

You live in the Netherlands and your country seems so accepting of LGBTQ individuals and crossdressers. How do you think your country became that way? Do you recommend more people from Europe and around the world move to the Netherlands if they feel like they can’t be themselves? 

I think it has to do a lot with the history of this country and that Dutch people are more down to earth. Of course, there are people who don’t accept others, but most do as I feel most people feel like you should live how you want to live. Would I recommend my country? No, not really. The weather is crap and politically speaking, it’s a real mess here. 

You talked a little about your parents not being so accepting of your bisexuality and you touched a little on your crossdressing with them. Do you think they’ll ever understand your gender identity and/or your sexuality? Are you okay with them knowing or not knowing? 

Honestly it is what it is. I stopped caring about this a long time ago. If they don’t understand then they don’t and if they don’t know about my crossdressing then I’m all okay with that.

COVID-19 has been a struggle for all of us, how has René been affected by the pandemic?

Not that much really. Occasionally I’ll go out for a walk, but I still do not go out as much like I used to, but more because of COVID. My work got a lot more busy which meant less free time, so if anything, that has had a much bigger impact. 

What would you say your style is? Tell us about your fashion sense! 

I don’t have a fashion sense! haha its really bad, but I always try to go for rock/alternative, gothy types of fashion.

What’s your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit?

Boots, skinny jeans, definitely a leopard band shirt, and a denim jacket is my favorite outfit when I go outside.

What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets? 

I wish I was more honest with myself earlier. That’s all. 

We obviously know a lot about René in your talk with Giselle… tell us something you omitted about René that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast! 

Nothing I can think of right now. Maybe something will come up later. Only thing I can think of is my new instagram username is: rene_reinetsu 

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/genderfluid/other individuals? 

Listen to your own body and mind. Nobody else but yourself knows how you feel or want to dress.

Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?

Fuck yes this community is amazing and gives a lot of support.

How will you approach René moving forward? Does anything change after being on the podcast?

Il continue to listen more to her and treat her better than I did in the past.

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Curi – YAAS Convo with Claire Q&A!

Episode 131 and 132 feature Claire, a 31-year-old genderfluid crossdresser currently living in Portland, Oregon. Here’s our Q&A with her

How old are you and where are you from?

I’m 31 years old and I’m originally from the Midwest of the United States.

What brings you to the podcast?

I have heard many other peoples’ stories and wanted to share mine to pay it forward and in hopes that it helps someone else as other peoples’ stories have helped me.

How do you feel about the term crossdresser? Do you agree with the word? Are you yourself a crossdresser? If so, how’d you come to that conclusion?

I feel that the term crossdresser carries a negative connotation to it.

I would consider myself a crossdresser, however I also feel that the term does not fully encapsulate who I am as a person, where as genderfluid/non-binary seems to be more fitting.

I realized I am a crossdresser, but I feel like it goes beyond the clothes, wig, and makeup. 

How would you identify with your gender identity? You said Non-binary genderfluid with your chat with Giselle. But do you think you fall under the transgender umbrella? Why or why not?

I absolutely fit under the transgender umbrella as my sense of identity does not completely match up with my birth sex. Non-binary/Genderfluid helps me communicate that I don’t fully identify with either gender binaries and that I my motivation to dress up as Claire changes day to day. 

How would you classify your sexuality? How did you come to terms with that?

I would say I’m attracted to femininity, but also to a certain degree pansexual, but I have yet to explore the boundaries of that.

I would say some therapy and introspection have helped me shed the layers of shame surrounding who I am and who I am attracted to.

Also the CrossYAAS podcast helped a ton as well!

You said many things to Giselle, and one thing that stood out was your relationship with your parents. Do you regret not coming out to them sooner? Are you satisfied with how it all went down the way it did?

I personally do not regret telling them sooner. I’ve always had a feeling they wouldn’t react well, and I felt I needed a layer of social support to be able to work up the courage to come out to them without needing their approval. I am happy the way I did it because I felt like they were able to understand that I was serious and that I cared about them. 

You seem so laid back with the crossdressing and your gender identity. How did you get to be this way? You make it seem so easy! What is your secret?

I recognized from a young age that this will always be a part of me, so I kind of accepted that it was here to stay whether I liked it or not. While it has caused some issues with previous relationships, I also know that it has made me a much more empathetic person and I wouldn’t be the person I am today without it. It’s taken me a long time to realize it’s not harming anyone, that it is a form of self-expression, and that my friends, that I’ve come out to, do truly just want me to be happy regardless of how I present myself. Also I realized that most people ultimately are too busy in their lives to care about other people’s life choices, and if they do care that’s just kind of weird.

COVID-19 has been a struggle for all of us, how has your Claire self been affected with the pandemic?

I feel that COVID-19 has been a struggle for everyone. I would say Claire got a lot of time to hone her makeup skills, but similar to everyone was just ready to get back out and socialize. 

What would you say your style is? Tell us about your fashion sense!

I love clothes that make me feel cute. I love anything flowy and practical. It feels nice to wear a high waisted skirt because you can be bloated and still look good. I guess a good portion of my style is dictated by Target as well. It’s super fun to experiment, but currently my style is cute and casual. 

What’s your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit?

I don’t currently have any go-to outfits, but I’d say if I had to throw something on quickly that works in most situations is a nice green wrap dress that has pocket and brown chunky block heel strappy sandals.

What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?

I don’t really have any regrets in life as it has all led me to be where I am today. However, it  would have been nicer if I got to where I am today at a younger age. 

We obviously know a lot about Claire in your talk with Giselle… tell us something you omitted about Claire that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast!

I love music, food, hiking, video games, movies, makeup and oxford commas.

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/genderfluid/other individuals?

Be your best self, experiment, think about what brings you the most joy, and don’t feel shame for what society may not accept. Also put yourself out there more, do things that make you a bit nervous, and experience what life has to offer. 

Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?

For this question, I would have to give a big fat YAAS. 

This podcast has helped me a ton in understanding my dressing and has helped me view my dressing in a non-shameful way. 

The CrossYAAS discord is a wonderful source of support and has absolutely enriched my life since joining.

I used to see my crossdressing as a negative side of myself that I acknowledged, now I see it as something beautiful that makes me a unique individual. 

How will you approach Claire moving forward? Does anything change after being on the podcast? 

I’ll probably approach my Claire side the same as before. I’ll keep pushing myself to put myself out there more. Hopefully my story will resonate with others and inspire them to live their lives more authentically. 

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Curi – YAAS Convo with Stephanie Fredericks Q&A!

In Episode 129, Stephanie Fredericks, a crossdresser and genderfluid individual comes onto the podcast to tell her story. Here’s our Q&A with her.

How old are you and where are you from?

I am 49 years old, I was born in TX, but moved all around and now live in Arizona.

What brings you to the podcast?

I wanted to tell my story because I hope it will someday help someone that listens to this in the future feel comfortable about being who they are. And not fear telling family and friends. It can be hard but it’s not impossible.

Do you consider yourself a crossdresser? Why or why not? Do you even like the term crossdresser? How’d you come to that conclusion?

I used to call my dressing just a hobby, and then I came to terms that I was a crossdresser. And I don’t mind that term because it was exactly what I was doing. As time went on I realized that it has always been something more. There was something more inside me that loved femininity. I came to the conclusion just through time, educating myself, listening to podcasts(especially this one), and deep thought about how I really feel.

How would you identify with your gender identity? You said genderfluid with your chat with Giselle. But do you think you fall under the transgender umbrella? Why or why not?

I identify as genderfluid and I absolutely also feel that falls under the Trans umbrella. I wasn’t sure about that until last year when reading more and more about what it is that defines the Trans umbrella and things just started making sense. One good book I read that helped with my identity was “Seeing Gender” by Iris Gottlieb.

How would you classify your sexuality? How did you come to terms with that?

I always considered myself straight and happily married to a Cis woman. I’m not sure if the fact that I am on HRT changes anything because I don’t feel the need to fully transition as a woman.

Why did you decide to start HRT? You talk about HRT lite… but how did you come to the conclusion to start it? DId you seek a gender therapist beforehand? Did that help?

I didn’t seek a therapist beforehand because after researching micro-dosing and having my practitioner tell me more about it, I knew that it was right for me and probably what my body has been needing to make me feel complete. It’s hard to explain the feeling but it’s one of those feelings you can’t ignore. It was recommended that I now see a therapist while on HRT so I am getting a referral for one.

What’s your biggest fear with this transition? HRT can be a scary word for some, but are you yourself scared?

I’m not scared but some things do still make me nervous. It is going to change my body and some things may be irreversible. I wonder sometimes, if for some reason down the road I feel that it is not working physiologically like I had thought, what happens next?

The thing that stood out in your Curi – YAAS convo with Giselle you discussed your terrible relationship with your ex-wife, who shared the same name as Giselle’s girlfriend from hell, Jenn… What the hell is wrong with her? Why are some of the worst people named Jenn?!

She was greedy, selfish, and just overall not a very empathetic person. And the second question makes me think that someone should do a scientific study on why that is.

All jokes aside, you’ve come out a better, and stronger human being because of that relationship with your ex-wife Jenn. How did you do it? What advice can you offer people who are coming out of a bad relationship?

Thank you. I’d definitely say I learned a lot from that relationship and came out stronger. I was young and I probably married too “spur of the moment” in the first place. But, once I saw some warning signs that we probably weren’t compatible I should have sought help and not just hoped things would get better naturally. My advice for coming out of a bad relationship is to take a break, as long as you need, and reassess what type of person you really want to be with and if you do meet someone new, take your time and make sure they are the right one.

Your wife Gwen sounds like a wonderful human being! How do you maintain a great relationship with her? What is your favorite thing about her? Why is she so awesome!

Gwen’s amazing! And we have a great relationship because we care about each other, pay attention to each other, and are always making sure each other has what we need. We also spend lots of time together because we enjoy each other’s company, but are also able to go do our own things if needed. She’s beautiful and great in many ways but my favorite thing about her is how she can handle any social situation, even if it’s uncomfortable. I lack that skill and have learned a lot from her.

COVID-19 has been a struggle for all of us, how has your Steph self been affected with the pandemic?

There were some things that I wanted to do more as Steph in public but being at home a lot actually allowed me (Steph) to thrive, not only because I dressed more but because I had a lot of time off to educate myself and really think more about who I am inside.

What would you say your style is? Tell us about your fashion sense!

When glamming up I love Pin up, polkadots, business casual, and sundresses. During the work day I’ve been experimenting with some genderfluid clothing.

What’s your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit?

Favorite things to wear are sundresses. Also I dress every night in femme Pjs, a bandana, and eyeliner. It’s just my nightly comfort go-to.

What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?

I think all of us say this but I wish I would’ve started dressing and coming out earlier in life. But it’s all situational and everyone’s life is different so I am also extremely happy with where I’m at at this point in my life. I’m very lucky.

My Grandad died at 90 and he was always a funny man and a good prankster. After the funeral my family was cleaning his house and found some pictures of him dressed in lingerie in his later years. They didn’t make fun of him but laughed and cast it off at how this was probably his last prank to the family. I’m glad they thought of it that way and not something negative but I looked at those pictures and saw a sad man that probably suppressed his entire life that he was a crossdresser or maybe even more.

We obviously know a lot about Steph in your talk with Giselle… tell us something you omitted about Steph that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast!

I wished I would’ve stated how much I love helping younger crossdressers on social media. When I first went public it was for validation for me and yes, at first I was interested in numbers and comments. Then younger CDs started reaching out to me for advice and I loved it and realized that just me being public and visible and confident was really helping some others to come out of their shell and also not fear showing their true selves to the public. It makes me feel good when someone says that I gave them the confidence to be visible.

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/other individuals?

Read everything you can and learn about who you are. Get help if it’s difficult because it can be. And don’t be afraid to ask people with experience. They most likely went through most of what you are going through.

Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?

I may have been one of Giselle’s most nervous guests, even though she didn’t think so, and her interview style quickly conquered my fear and I easily told my story. It was therapeutic and made me hope that someday in the future my story may relate to someone new to this and is wondering how to navigate it. No matter where you are in your experience with this it will help you to talk and probably help someone else that is listening to the episode.

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Curi – YAAS Convo with Ryanne aka Trekkie Q&A!

Episode 108, Ryanne also known as Trekkie, comes on the podcast to tell her crossdressing story. Here’s our short little Q&A with her.

How old are you and where are you from?

I am 40 years old. I was born in the United Kingdom, raised in Canada, and have lived in the US since the early 90’s.

What brings you to the podcast?

I was looking for a community of people who are questioning and exploring gender, but not necessarily focused on permanently changing their bodies or identities.

Are you a crossdresser?

Yes!

What makes you different from other types of crossdressers?

I also enjoy wearing diapers occasionally. Sometimes I just like the feeling of the padding. Sometimes wearing one turns me on. Sometimes wetting and wearing a wet diaper feels good.

How has living in the midwest affected your lifestyle as a crossdresser?

I had remained closer to the friends and family who knew me and accepted me when I was younger, I may have felt more comfortable openly experimenting with gender earlier in life. The midwest is obviously a conservative place, and challenging gender norms is intimidating. It’s a lot easier to keep my head down and go with the status-quo out here.

How would you identify with your gender identity? Do you identify as transgender? Why or why not?

I had not considered myself transgender, until I was challenged by my therapist and the CrossYaas podcast last spring. I suppose the term that fits me best is genderqueer, which is under the transgender umbrella. I don’t feel comfortable using the general term trangender, because it requires so much explaining to land at how I actually feel. I feel somewhere in-between a man and a woman, and it fluctuates!

How would you classify your sexuality?

I am sexually attracted to most, if not all things feminine. I am attracted to women, but it is a confusing attraction. I often want to feel what it’s like to be a woman, and be with a woman at the same time. When I was in high school, I did joke to my girlfriend that sometimes I felt like a lesbian. I felt so much shame just admitting that, that I pushed it aside for a long time.

Are you open about your crossdressing/sexuality/gender? What was that coming out process like?

I am open to a small number of friends and family. The experience of coming out to each person has been vastly different. With my wife, the conversations are ongoing. With people like my aunt and brother, the conversations were quite easy.

In your Curi – YAAS conversation with Giselle, you talk about going out in public crossdressed with your wife. How was that experience for you? How did you get your wife to agree to that? Where’d you gain that confidence from?

It was so much fun! I think the part I enjoyed the most was letting go of all my stress and anxieties. When I’m crossdressing, I don’t feel like myself. I feel like I’ve shed all of the pressures and responsibilities of being the “Man” of the house, and I get to truly have fun! When I was out with my wife I felt vulnerable. I felt cute. I felt loved. And I loved seeing how protective she got. When someone gave us the stink-eye for holding hands, she nearly charged at him!

I didn’t get my wife to agree to go out with me. She agreed all on her own. I just said it was something I would like to try. I asked her to think about it and get back to me. I also suggested I split our time between girl mode and boy mode, so she could still fall asleep next to the husband she knows. I think that compromise was key to our first experience together.

You also discussed with Giselle going to CapCon with your wife, an ageplay convention in Chicago. Can you elaborate more on that? The CrossYAAS listener would love more details.  Would you go back?

I absolutely would go back! It was the most loving and accepting place I have ever been. The people were so friendly and having so much fun. And their clothes were so cute! Lots of people play with gender when they ageplay, so it was really the first time I had been exposed to a real-life group of crossdressers. And I’d be happy to share more details in the future!

You talk about your children with Giselle. How have you approached the crossdressing aspect of your life with them, and if you haven’t, what would be an ideal way for you to do that?

I have been making incremental changes to my wardrobe for almost two years. I started growing out my hair. When it got long enough to get in my eyes, I started borrowing my daughter’s sparkly cat ear headbands. The kids loved it and encouraged it. I think the next thing I did was wear a midriff long-sleeve T-shirt with a neon drawing of the space shuttle on it. They stared long and hard at my exposed belly button, before shrugging it off. When I asked my daughter how she felt, she said she was confused at first, but then wondered why she was confused. She said she realized she likes my shirt and it didn’t matter that it was shorter than my other shirts. She thought it was cute. 

I’m not quite ready to strap on my fake titties and pull up a mini-skirt around them, but I do dress more feminine in daily life. They are now used to seeing me in “girl clothes” and wearing my hair in expressive ways. I have had my nails done, and I’ve worn mascara around them. My eldest daughter also knows my locked office closet is full of dress-up clothes, but I’m not opening it up for her any time soon! My middle child has asked if we could play dress-up together, but we haven’t made it happen yet. I’m excited to see what develops!

How important is passing to you? In what ways do you try or not try to pass?

I have two crossdressing modes, more or less. In the first mode, I am not trying to pass at all. I may or may not have a beard, and I’m wearing a mixture of things found in the men’s and women’s section. I feel this is me at my purest level, just having fun with who I am and what I can wear to make myself feel good. This is how I currently dress around my family. It probably doesn’t count as crossdressing, but it feels good!

In the second mode, I want a divorce from myself to become something else. In this case I am trying to pass, but it’s still mostly for me. I want to feel the makeup on my face, to remind me not to touch it. I want to feel the eyelash extensions tickle my cheek. I want my shoes to change the way I walk. I want to feel the shaper compressing me into an hourglass and the silicone boobies jiggle when I move. In those moments I want to be completely lost in femininity. If I pass, great! It only helps me get lost even more.

What would you say your style is? How did you develop it?

My style is quite juvenile, and I doubt that will change. My least favorite phrase in the English language is “That’s inappropriate”! I like bold colors in simple combinations. I like silhouettes that are shapely and feminine. I like fabrics that feel soft and light against my skin. I like ribbons and bows in my curly hair. Some may call me a Sissy, and in some ways that’s a decent fit. But I never feel humiliated by my feminine side. I want to feel empowered by it.

What’s your favorite thing to wear?

I start with a soft, thick diaper. Not a crappy drug-store brand geriatric bladder control device. A purpose-made adult sized baby diaper from a boutique manufacturer like Adult Baby Universe or Rearz. A tennis or skater skirt with wedge Chuck-Taylor style shoes. A pink midriff top. A choker and dangly earrings (I want to get my ears pierced this summer!!!) And my hair in pigtails.

What do you wish you did differently in your life?

I wish I hadn’t dismissed my questions so many times. I wish I had continued to look inside to embrace what was important to me, rather than looking to others to give me fulfillment.

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender individuals?

Keep asking the questions, and find people who are asking the same questions. If you know there are others out there, hopefully you’ll know you are valued.

Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?

Yes! But wait until you are ready. For me, I needed ice-breaker first. I was very nervous to record, and didn’t feel prepared. Giselle was great at calming my nerves, but I still felt like I was babbling incoherently!