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Curi – YAAS Conversation with Nicole L.

In episode 135 and 136, Nicole L. comes on the podcast to tell her story. Here’s our Q&A with her.

How old are you and where are you from?

I’m 33-years-old and from Ireland.

What brings you to the podcast?

I love the podcast and really wanted to reach out and find out more about our community and offer my experience as it may help someone listening.

How do you feel about the term crossdresser? Do you agree with the word? Is it an outdated term? Are you yourself a crossdresser? If so, how’d you come to that conclusion?

I prefer the term crossdresser to more derogatory terms like tranny or shemale. I think it’s a self explanatory term. I am a crossdresser because I love being femme dressed up 😊

With regards to your gender identity, you seem to not care about labels really, when you were speaking with Giselle in your Curi – YAAS conversation with her. So how would you classify your gender identity? Do you think we should just get rid of labels entirely?

Labels to me are confusing at times lol. It seems like there’s a new one every year. So to someone that doesn’t know anything about our community it must be even more confusing. But on the other hand labels are important to some people to help them feel like they belong.

Personally I think society has created too many ways to be a person, by that I mean I think we should be able to just be ourselves without judgment or labels, just be the person you want to be. As long as its not harming anyone else what does it matter what you call it 😊

With regards to your sexuality, you seem to be into women as you do have a fiancee (congratulations by the way!). How did you come to terms with that? The idea that you’re into women. Have you experimented at all with same sex relationships?

Thank you 😊 I’ve always respected women and have had girlfriends from middle school onward. I’ve never looked at guys that way. I do find other trans women attractive as I’m attracted to the female form 😊

You spoke about many things with Giselle, and one thing that made an impression was that you do have a 9-year-old son and you expressed worries about him discovering your Nicole alter ego. Do you feel any shame with Nicole when it comes to your son? What steps could you take to help your son understand what Nicole means to you? Or do you want to try and separate Nicole in your relationship with your son?

I don’t feel shame as such, more concern as although even if he knew and was fine with it, I’d be concerned if he told his friends at school as kids can be cruel. I don’t want him to experience ridicule because of me.

I don’t think any steps would need to be taken to help him understand as he’s been brought up to respect others. Unfortunately not every parent brings their children up this way and therefore it’s best to wait until he’s a little older. I will most likely tell him sometime 😊

If Nicole is an alter ego of your male self, what differences, if any, do you notice when you’re Nicole versus you in guy mode?

I’m more relaxed in girl mode. Guy me has his baggage and Nicole doesn’t carry it for him lol

You live in Ireland and you talked a little bit about the unique qualities the Irish have when it comes to the LGBTQ community in terms of acceptance. In your opinion, does the outlook of the LGBTQ community for Ireland look more positive, negative, or the same, and why?

I think its a positive outlook. For the most part I think people want to be more open minded and accepting. The LGBTQ community is supported in Ireland. Gay marriage is legal here and during pride month there are rainbow flags flown everywhere 😊

With over 27 thousand followers on Instagram, and an increasing online presence, how do you feel about being a so-called “influencer?” Do you consider yourself that? What does that even mean to you?

I don’t consider my self an influencer to be honest. If I’m helping people or just making them smile then I’ll keep posting. But mainly I do it for a confidence boost. I’m an extremely insecure person really so, putting myself out there in the spotlight of social media is me pushing myself to be more confident. 

COVID-19 has been a struggle for all of us, but how has Nicole been affected by the pandemic?

Nicole has had it easy lol guy me had some ups and downs but for the most part it’s been OK. Others have had it worse.

What would you say Nicole’s style is? Tell us about your fashion sense and how you developed it!

Fashion has been a turbulent ride 😅 I’ve styled Nicole’s look after many iconic females such as Audrey Hepburn, Christina agulara etc. I’ve just kept colour in my look. 

What’s your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit?

Skater skirts! I love them 💜 also bodycon dresses because who doesn’t love them? They’re sexy! Lingerie obviously 😍

What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?

I wish I could tell 15 year old me that your not a freak, your not alone and that it’s gonna be OK. I wish I had accepted myself sooner, been braver, stronger… Been myself 😔

We obviously know a lot about Nicole in your talk with Giselle…but tell us something you omitted about Nicole that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast!

Well being a crossdresser means you get to see life from a different prospective. You see it from a woman’s perspective. It makes us more intuitive and aware of our partners needs. It’s easy to forget just how lucky we are to experience that thought process as most of us spend a long time trying to suppress it. I say embrace it!

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/genderfluid/other individuals?

Don’t be afraid to be yourself! Don’t be ashamed of yourself! Don’t let the haters get you down! You are different yes, but your uniqueness makes you special and the ones that appreciate that uniqueness are the ones worth your time.

Anything that costs your mental health is too expensive, so if you feel down about purging, shame or dysphoria ask yourself this question… Why am I letting the opinions of those around shape my future?

This world can be ugly and it can consume the unique beauty it holds within. But can be strong enough to weather it, you can be bold enough to be different and you can be bitchy enough to screw you to those who oppose you 😘

How will you approach Nicole moving forward? Does anything change after being on the podcast?

Nicole will stay the same sassy girl she’s become. Her makeup may change her style may alter, but her flare is permanent 😊 the podcast was a great experience. Talking to Giselle really helped me come out of my comfort zone. Also she’s the first crossdresser I’d spoken to in outside of DMs so that was great 😊

Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?

Absolutely YAAS!! It’s an incredible resource for information for both crossdressers and their partners. Giselle is such an inspiration and a credit to the community. 😊

And finally, where can people support and follow Nicole on social media!
My Instagram and Tik Tok user name is x1xnicolex1x if you guys and girls wanna follow me 😘

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Curi – YAAS Convo with Lilly Q & A!

Episode 134 features Lilly, CrossYAAS Video Editor – in Chief and genderfluid individual who comes on the podcast to share her story. Here’s our full Q & A with Lilly.

How old are you and where are you from?

I just turned 24 in August and I’m from Southern California!

What brings you to the podcast?

I started listening to the podcast awhile back, but really started to get more involved when the CrossYAAS Confidential Discord server was created. I was really interested in sharing my own story, but I was afraid to do an interview because I didn’t want my family to accidentally overhear anything. Now that I’ve come out to them though, I have nothing holding me back!

How do you feel about the term crossdresser? Do you agree with the word? Is it an outdated term? Are you yourself a crossdresser? If so, how’d you come to that conclusion?

Personally, I feel like the term “crossdresser” has become a bit outdated and problematic. There’s definitely a certain stigma about the word that I don’t feel as comfortable with anymore. For a while I did identify with the term, but more recently I have realized that I am genderfluid and that the term “crossdresser” didn’t really do the best job of describing who I am.

With regards to your gender identity, you said genderfluid with your chat with Giselle, but do you care to elaborate on that? How’d you come to that specific label for yourself? Do you even like labels when it comes to your gender identity?

I really started to explore my own gender identity a bit more by connecting with others on Discord! For many years, I just thought that I was just a crossdresser, but after joining communities like our very own CrossYAAS Confidential Discord, sharing my experiences and listening to the experiences of others, I started to realize there was more to it than just clothes and makeup. Lilly is more than just a persona that I inhabit when I dress up, she’s her own person. I started exploring my gender identity a bit more, which usually involved a lot of self reflection and asking myself what I really want in the long term. Eventually I settled on genderfluid, although I have also explored the possibility that I am bigender. For me personally, labels don’t matter as much because all I really want is to be happy and comfortable with myself.

With regards to your sexuality, you said in your chat with Giselle that you were into femininity. Can you explain that a bit more? So you’re into everything feminine? Does that mean you’re still heterosexual?

I’m attracted to feminine presenting people, whether they are cisgender women, transgender women, crossdressers, genderfluid, nonbinary, etc.. I guess that would make me bisexual by some definitions, but largely I’d say that I am attracted to women. I’ve never been in a relationship with anyone else however, so this is mostly just speculation on my part. There’s a lot more experimenting I’d like to do before I completely figure things out!

You opened up a lot to Giselle and of the many things that stood out was your challenges with your parents and family. What did it take for you to finally muster up the courage to tell them? Do you think you’ll be able to tell more of your family members down the line? Are you worried about what they’ll think about you?

Having so many supportive friends online was probably one of the biggest sources of courage I had when I came out to my family. When I first came out to my mom, I was chatting with Sierra and another friend and they helped me calm down and take that first step. The same thing happened when I came out to my dad. Madi Millions, a friend of the show, really helped me overcome a lot of the fears that were holding me back. As for coming out to the rest of my family, there are a few people I would like to tell eventually. Unless I decide to transition however, there aren’t too many family members I plan on sharing things with. Their opinions about gender and sexuality are pretty rigid and I can definitely see some of them having a real problem with me being myself.

You also talked a bit about being in the movie industry and your worries about your gender identity being an issue in finding a job. How real is this fear? Have you heard of stories where people cannot find work in that industry because of who they are?

I actually have no real idea if my fears are real or unfounded. What I do know is that building a career in Hollywood often relies on making connections and first impressions. Whether or not me being genderfluid is something that could make or break my career is a big fear I have. Hopefully after I graduate and begin working in the industry I will get a better sense of things.

COVID-19 has been a struggle for all of us, but how has Lilly been affected with the pandemic?

For me personally, COVID-19 made it nearly impossible for me to have much “Lilly” time. I still hadn’t come out to my family yet, and with everyone staying at home, I had pretty much zero privacy. I went almost a whole year without being able to dress and the only thing that kept me sane were my friends. While I couldn’t dress up as Lilly, I still got to be her online when chatting with other crossdressers, genderfluid people and trans women. I actually think this was a big reason I realized that being Lilly was more than just a hobby and that she is a part of my identity.

What would you say Lilly’s style is? Tell us about your fashion sense and how you developed it!

When I first started crossdressing, I swung between super casual and super formal (my first purchases were a pair of black leggings and a red formal dress). After a little bit of experimenting with clothing and style, I think I’ve honed in on a nice balance between the two. My style tends to be pretty put together, but nothing that would be out of place in everyday situations. Most of my wardrobe consists of different colors and styles of tops which I pair with skirts. After Giselle’s wedding however, I’ve started to become a bit more interested in more “glamorous” outfits like the sequin dress I wore.

What’s your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit?

If I had to pick one outfit as my favorite, I’d probably say it’s my light pink blouse paired with a soft brown skirt with golden buttons. I find that I’m always reaching for that light pink top when I dress, and I’ve tried pairing it with practically every skirt in my wardrobe at least once.

What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?

I think one thing I would’ve done differently is come out to my mom and dad at the same time instead of breaking it up over a year. Knowing how they would’ve reacted now it would’ve been easier to get past the awkwardness quickly. It would’ve also been a lot easier on my mom, as she really struggled keeping such a big thing secret from her best friend (my dad).

We obviously know a lot about Lilly in your talk with Giselle…but tell us something you omitted about Lilly that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast!

I’m a huge nerd! My friend’s and I haven been playing Dungeons & Dragons every Friday and Sunday for over 2 years now. I’m the Dungeon Master for a campaign that takes place in the world of Ravnica, a setting from Magic: The Gathering, another game I’m quite fond of. Gender is something that I’ve even started exploring in my games, with friends who don’t know that I am genderfluid. It’s a very accepting environment to roleplay as someone of a different gender or sexual identity, and I definitely recommend that any listeners who are curious try it out. Maybe I’ll host a CrossYAAS D&D campaign in the future… who knows?!

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/genderfluid/other individuals?

Don’t be afraid to reach out to others and share your identity with them. You’ll find you’re a lot less alone than you might think you are. Don’t be afraid to take steps that seem too difficult or impossible either! The biggest thing that stopped me from experimenting with crossdressing for so long was that I didn’t think I would be good enough at it. Things like learning makeup and buying clothes seemed like insurmountable obstacles to me and I spent years holding myself back because of those fears. But once I took those steps I realized how easy it was to just try new things and see how they made me feel. Don’t hold yourself back, get out there and have fun!

How will you approach Lilly moving forward? Does anything change after being on the podcast?

My approach to Lilly and my gender identity moving forward is to keep taking steps to get myself out there. Whether that means hanging out with friends as Lilly, going to weddings or just walking my dogs, I want to feel free to be myself more often. My journey is far from over and I’m excited to see where I’ll be in the next few years. Hopefully I can record more episodes with Giselle and other members of the CrossYAAS community as well!

Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?

Absolutely! I think being able to voice your thoughts and stories with others is such an important part of discovering your own identity. It’s a great way to get out of your own head for a bit and see things a bit more objectively.

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Curi – YAAS Conversation with René Q & A!

Episode 133 features René, a crossdresser from the Netherlands. Here’s our Q&A with her!

How old are you and where are you from? 

I am 28 years old and I’m from the Netherlands

What brings you to the podcast? 

To find like minded people who you can offer support and swap ideas with.

How do you feel about the term crossdresser? Are you comfortable with the term? Do you agree with the word? Are you yourself a crossdresser? If so, how’d you come to that conclusion? 

In some ways yes, I consider myself a crossdresser, and in some ways no. Yes because as a male or female, you are dressing in clothes of the other sex and try to act like you are that gender. Then again, I also think no, because why do we need to have names and boxes for everything? People should be able to dress up how they want, regardless of their sex, and don’t necessarily need labels for everything.

How would you identify with your gender identity? You said you’re a crossdresser in your chat with Giselle, but what does that say about your gender identity? Do you think you fall under the transgender umbrella? Why or why not? 

I don’t see my self as a transgender because I am happy with who I am as a male and my crossdressing is just a part of me.

How would you classify your sexuality? How did you come to terms with that? 

I would say I am bisexual. I found that out after liking a boy on a holiday and I liked intimate contact with him, but I do find women attractive a bit more.

When speaking with Giselle, you talked a lot about being “in a mood” when becoming René. Can you elaborate more on that? What does that mean? What kind of moods are we talking about? 

It’s a state of mind I’m in. When I’m stressed, it tends to trigger this state and becoming René is a big stress reliever for me. Also when I see cute things, I want to bring her out.

You live in the Netherlands and your country seems so accepting of LGBTQ individuals and crossdressers. How do you think your country became that way? Do you recommend more people from Europe and around the world move to the Netherlands if they feel like they can’t be themselves? 

I think it has to do a lot with the history of this country and that Dutch people are more down to earth. Of course, there are people who don’t accept others, but most do as I feel most people feel like you should live how you want to live. Would I recommend my country? No, not really. The weather is crap and politically speaking, it’s a real mess here. 

You talked a little about your parents not being so accepting of your bisexuality and you touched a little on your crossdressing with them. Do you think they’ll ever understand your gender identity and/or your sexuality? Are you okay with them knowing or not knowing? 

Honestly it is what it is. I stopped caring about this a long time ago. If they don’t understand then they don’t and if they don’t know about my crossdressing then I’m all okay with that.

COVID-19 has been a struggle for all of us, how has René been affected by the pandemic?

Not that much really. Occasionally I’ll go out for a walk, but I still do not go out as much like I used to, but more because of COVID. My work got a lot more busy which meant less free time, so if anything, that has had a much bigger impact. 

What would you say your style is? Tell us about your fashion sense! 

I don’t have a fashion sense! haha its really bad, but I always try to go for rock/alternative, gothy types of fashion.

What’s your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit?

Boots, skinny jeans, definitely a leopard band shirt, and a denim jacket is my favorite outfit when I go outside.

What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets? 

I wish I was more honest with myself earlier. That’s all. 

We obviously know a lot about René in your talk with Giselle… tell us something you omitted about René that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast! 

Nothing I can think of right now. Maybe something will come up later. Only thing I can think of is my new instagram username is: rene_reinetsu 

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/genderfluid/other individuals? 

Listen to your own body and mind. Nobody else but yourself knows how you feel or want to dress.

Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?

Fuck yes this community is amazing and gives a lot of support.

How will you approach René moving forward? Does anything change after being on the podcast?

Il continue to listen more to her and treat her better than I did in the past.

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Curi – YAAS Convo with Claire Q&A!

Episode 131 and 132 feature Claire, a 31-year-old genderfluid crossdresser currently living in Portland, Oregon. Here’s our Q&A with her

How old are you and where are you from?

I’m 31 years old and I’m originally from the Midwest of the United States.

What brings you to the podcast?

I have heard many other peoples’ stories and wanted to share mine to pay it forward and in hopes that it helps someone else as other peoples’ stories have helped me.

How do you feel about the term crossdresser? Do you agree with the word? Are you yourself a crossdresser? If so, how’d you come to that conclusion?

I feel that the term crossdresser carries a negative connotation to it.

I would consider myself a crossdresser, however I also feel that the term does not fully encapsulate who I am as a person, where as genderfluid/non-binary seems to be more fitting.

I realized I am a crossdresser, but I feel like it goes beyond the clothes, wig, and makeup. 

How would you identify with your gender identity? You said Non-binary genderfluid with your chat with Giselle. But do you think you fall under the transgender umbrella? Why or why not?

I absolutely fit under the transgender umbrella as my sense of identity does not completely match up with my birth sex. Non-binary/Genderfluid helps me communicate that I don’t fully identify with either gender binaries and that I my motivation to dress up as Claire changes day to day. 

How would you classify your sexuality? How did you come to terms with that?

I would say I’m attracted to femininity, but also to a certain degree pansexual, but I have yet to explore the boundaries of that.

I would say some therapy and introspection have helped me shed the layers of shame surrounding who I am and who I am attracted to.

Also the CrossYAAS podcast helped a ton as well!

You said many things to Giselle, and one thing that stood out was your relationship with your parents. Do you regret not coming out to them sooner? Are you satisfied with how it all went down the way it did?

I personally do not regret telling them sooner. I’ve always had a feeling they wouldn’t react well, and I felt I needed a layer of social support to be able to work up the courage to come out to them without needing their approval. I am happy the way I did it because I felt like they were able to understand that I was serious and that I cared about them. 

You seem so laid back with the crossdressing and your gender identity. How did you get to be this way? You make it seem so easy! What is your secret?

I recognized from a young age that this will always be a part of me, so I kind of accepted that it was here to stay whether I liked it or not. While it has caused some issues with previous relationships, I also know that it has made me a much more empathetic person and I wouldn’t be the person I am today without it. It’s taken me a long time to realize it’s not harming anyone, that it is a form of self-expression, and that my friends, that I’ve come out to, do truly just want me to be happy regardless of how I present myself. Also I realized that most people ultimately are too busy in their lives to care about other people’s life choices, and if they do care that’s just kind of weird.

COVID-19 has been a struggle for all of us, how has your Claire self been affected with the pandemic?

I feel that COVID-19 has been a struggle for everyone. I would say Claire got a lot of time to hone her makeup skills, but similar to everyone was just ready to get back out and socialize. 

What would you say your style is? Tell us about your fashion sense!

I love clothes that make me feel cute. I love anything flowy and practical. It feels nice to wear a high waisted skirt because you can be bloated and still look good. I guess a good portion of my style is dictated by Target as well. It’s super fun to experiment, but currently my style is cute and casual. 

What’s your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit?

I don’t currently have any go-to outfits, but I’d say if I had to throw something on quickly that works in most situations is a nice green wrap dress that has pocket and brown chunky block heel strappy sandals.

What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?

I don’t really have any regrets in life as it has all led me to be where I am today. However, it  would have been nicer if I got to where I am today at a younger age. 

We obviously know a lot about Claire in your talk with Giselle… tell us something you omitted about Claire that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast!

I love music, food, hiking, video games, movies, makeup and oxford commas.

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/genderfluid/other individuals?

Be your best self, experiment, think about what brings you the most joy, and don’t feel shame for what society may not accept. Also put yourself out there more, do things that make you a bit nervous, and experience what life has to offer. 

Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?

For this question, I would have to give a big fat YAAS. 

This podcast has helped me a ton in understanding my dressing and has helped me view my dressing in a non-shameful way. 

The CrossYAAS discord is a wonderful source of support and has absolutely enriched my life since joining.

I used to see my crossdressing as a negative side of myself that I acknowledged, now I see it as something beautiful that makes me a unique individual. 

How will you approach Claire moving forward? Does anything change after being on the podcast? 

I’ll probably approach my Claire side the same as before. I’ll keep pushing myself to put myself out there more. Hopefully my story will resonate with others and inspire them to live their lives more authentically. 

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Curi – YAAS Convo with Gwen Fredericks Q&A!

In Episode 130, special guest, Gwen Fredericks, the wife of crossdresser/genderfluid individual Stephanie Fredericks, comes onto the podcast to tell her story. Here’s our Q&A with her!

How old are you and where are you from?

I am 40 years old and live in Arizona.

What brings you to the podcast?

I’m married to a long-time listener of the podcast, Steph Fredericks. Steph introduced me to the podcast and it gave me some great context and understanding. When I first found out about Steph, I could not find any resources for spouses like me. I couldn’t find any stories like ours and I really wanted to get some context for what I was experiencing. I heard Giselle talk about wanting partners/spouses to share their stories and I thought that this was something I could share, hoping that other partners could benefit from it.

Wait what, your husband Steph is a crossdresser/genderfluid individual? And you’re okay with that? Are you sure you’re okay with that?

Yes! I’m married to Steph, and yes, I’m sure I’m OK with the Steph being “Steph.” It took some time and learning to get as comfortable as I am today, but I’m sure.

When did you first find out about Steph’s crossdressing, what was your initial reaction, and how have you dealt with it?

I learned about Steph’s crossdressing in stages. First, while we were dating, they told me about previous experiences with trying on pieces of women’s clothing. Later, right around the time we got married, Steph told me that they cross-dressed in the past – as in a full outfit. Gradually, over time, Steph shared more with me. I think the gradual sharing of information was gauging my own comfort with seeing more (like pictures) combined with Steph’s own progressive understanding of it for themselves.

How would you classify your own sexuality? How did you come to terms with that? And has that had any effect on it since finding out about Steph’s true gender identity?

For as long as I can remember, I have identified as straight/heterosexual. That has been challenged as Steph has explored and expanded their own understanding of their gender identity. For now, I still think of myself as heterosexual, but the logical part of my brain understands that it is more complicated than that because the person I love – and am attracted to – does not identify 100% as male. This is an area that I continue to think about and may change as I learn and educate myself more.

Who is your support system outside of Steph in dealing with her gender identity? Who knows about Steph? What was that coming out process like?

I’ve always felt like this was Steph’s thing to come out about – to whichever people she wanted to. It has not felt like my thing to share or disclose. Several of our friends know and Steph shares this part of themselves with more and more people on a regular basis. My mom and sister have known for some time. The friends and family who do know about Steph are nothing but supportive, but many of them do not know what to ask. I think these podcasts will help us educate them and give them a clearer understanding of Steph, as well as our relationship. Since Steph’s episode came out, I’ve already received messages of support and excitement from our friends, who are now looking to get to know Steph as “Steph” more.

For me, the coming-out process was primarily something I watch Steph do. As more people learn about Steph, and as Steph moves toward presenting more gender-fluid/feminine in public, I suspect even more people in my life will know. I anticipate that I will get a lot more questions when more of my family and friends learn about Steph.

Steph talks about being on HRT, and you’ve been one of her biggest supporters. For some, this could be considered the ultimate sign of love. For others, this is the greatest act of deception. Where do you stand on this and why?

I don’t see it as deceptive at all. It is a medical treatment just like any other. Whether Steph wants/needs to be on medication to treat a skin problem so they have skin that feels better for them, or wants/needs medication to feel more themselves in their own skin, it is all the same to me. Steph’s decision to take this treatment only serves to make them more themselves, which will only serve to give me a happier and healthier partner.

Your love has grown for Steph on her journey to finding her true gender identity. What advice can you offer other significant others of crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/gender non-conforming individuals who are figuring out how and why to stand by them? You’ve been by Steph’s side through a lot of it. How have you done it?

I think this is a very personal and individual assessment and calculation. I think it is important to both understand what you need and make efforts to understand where your partner is coming from and what they are feeling. 

For me, I asked myself, regularly, what I was afraid of. I identified several things that I was afraid of, but I chose to examine them and share those fears with Steph as I was feeling them. I was asking her to keep me up to date with her journey, so I needed to do the same. Those conversations were hard, but they helped us learn more about each other and our relationship, in addition to building even more trust. I know that I can be honest about what is important to me – good or bad – just as I know that Steph will tell me what is important to them. This kind of communication is important, so if you need the help of a therapist, embrace and seek out that help.

Finally, it is important to be patient with yourself and the situation, to the extent you can. I’m not suggesting that people stay in a situation they know is not fulfilling or will somehow be harmful to them. But, if you want to be there and want to find a way, be patient with yourself and the situation as you navigate it.

What’s the biggest misconception you’d like to clarify about crossdressers/transgender individuals that you’ve learned since being introduced into this community? What resources helped you in learning about this community?

I think the biggest broad-brush misconceptions are that crossdressers are not sexually attracted to women and that every transgender person wants to surgically/medically transition. And, overall, there is this misconception that every person within the community wants the same thing. I have learned, quickly, that every crossdresser/transgender person is as individual in their experiences and expectations, just as any other person in the world.

In addition to this podcast, I have sought out education about gender identity and presentation through all media (books, podcasts, documentaries, etc.). For me, reading about how gender presentation and identity are defined has helped me to put my own experience into context. It has also been helpful to read sources from the perspective of the crossdresser/transgender person. Finding empathy and understanding of the perspective of a transgender person definitely helped put into context what I was observing and experiencing with Steph.

Even though it is a children’s book, It Feels Good to Be Yourself: A Book About Gender Identity, by Theresa Thorn, is a wonderful, positive, introduction to various gender presentations.

Seeing Gender: An Illustrated Guide to Identity and Expression, by  Iris Gottlieb, is another detailed resource.

For me, I also sought information about other spouse’s experiences. An episode of the podcast, “Death, Sex, and Money” titled, “50 Years Married To A Man Named Sissy” was extremely helpful for me.

Steph sounds like a wonderful human being when you talk about her. How do you maintain such a great relationship with her? Yes communication is huge, but what else? What is your favorite thing about her? Why is she so awesome!

Steph is extremely thoughtful and listens better than most people on the face of the earth! Yes, communication is important, but we also spend time together (because we enjoy it). Steph is fun, funny, and calm. They make space for me to be myself, support me no matter what off-the-wall idea I have, and never hesitate to encourage me. I try to give Steph as much of all of those things as they give me every day.

COVID-19 has been a struggle for all of us, how have you been affected by the pandemic?

I have been able to work from home a lot more, which has meant that Steph and I get to spend even more time together. We like that, so it’s been good in that way. We haven’t been able to see our friends and family as much as we would like, but the disruption of COVID has been relatively mild for us.

Yes we know enough about Steph, but what about you?! What would you say your style is? Tell us about your fashion sense!

The last year and a half has been full of new athleisure, for me. When I’m dressing like an adult, I lean toward classic/simple lines, A-line dresses, and either solid colors or simple patterns. 

Enough about Steph! What’s your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit?

For work, I have a brown polka-dot dress (yes, Steph found it for me) that I love to wear. It is reminiscent of the 1950’s-1960’s, but with a classic/modern look. When I’m casual around town, I prefer shorts/capris and a flowy/light tank or shirt (it can get warm here!).

What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?

I don’t have any regrets. I would love to travel more – both domestically and internationally. I would really like to train myself to take a road trip slowly, stopping to see new things, instead of driving straight through without stopping.

We obviously know a lot about Steph and we learned a little about you in your talk with Giselle… but tell us something you omitted about Steph that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast!

While I love to cook, Steph is no slouch in the kitchen! On one of our first dates, Steph made me a delicious dinner from scratch (before they knew how much I like to cook). When it comes to grilling/smoking, I still get to participate with seasoning, but Steph is definitely the family pitmaster!

What advice would you give to other significant others of crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/other individuals? What’s the best thing they can do to understand the community better?

If you feel like you don’t understand, either individuals or the community, I recommend de-mystifying the community by learning about it through the words and thoughts of the members themselves. Read books from the perspective of a crossdresser/trans person (fiction or non-fiction), watch documentaries, listen to podcasts. 

This podcast community is a great place to start, but if you prefer joining community groups to meet people in person, do it. If you feel comfortable communicating through online forums, the CrossYAAS Discord is a great place!

Why should people join the CrossYAAS Confidential Discord?

The Discord is as much a resource as it is entertaining. For me, it has helped me learn about the community, but it has also helped me feel like a part of the community. 

Everyone should join for those reasons, but partners/spouses should join because it would be great to create a community where we can find and support each other, as well.

Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?

Absolutely. All the stories people have shared on the podcast so far have helped me – and so many others. Even if you think your story is uninteresting, I guarantee you that there is someone out there who identifies with it – and who, through your story, will benefit from knowing that they are not alone. 

How can people reach you if they have questions and concerns?

Anyone can reach me at OhMyGuhness@gmail.com

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Curi – YAAS Convo with Dottie Q&A!

In Episode 128, Dottie, a crossdresser from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania comes on the podcast to tell her story. Here’s our Q & A with her.

How old are you and where are you from?

I’m 27 and from Philadelphia.

What brings you to the podcast?

My friend Madi invited me to the discord server so I started listening to some episodes after joining. I think it’s great to hear voices of other people in the community and their stories. You can learn a lot about yourself from empathizing with the experiences of others.

Do you consider yourself a crossdresser? Why or why not? How’d you come to that conclusion?

I don’t really like the term “crossdresser” but it’s the simplest way to convey to somebody what I basically do so I use it.

How would you identify with your gender identity? Do you think you fall under the transgender umbrella? Why or why not?

I call myself genderfluid, which falls under the “T” umbrella to me more than it does “Q” or “+”. Honestly, I think labels are stupid and overrated but we still kind of need them to define things for people who have trouble understanding it. Basically, I present masculine most of the time, but when I want to and can I present feminine. I’m still the same person at the end of the day, just some days I’m prettier than others!

How would you classify your sexuality? How did you come to terms with that?

I don’t really know how to define it exactly, I just know I’m attracted to feminine people. I don’t have an issue with any specific bits downstairs, I just know I just find femininity very sexy and attractive. It’s part of the reason why I present the way I do in the first place, I want to feel good about my appearance and look like somebody I would be attracted to. So I’m whatever that is, I like girls!

Are you public about Dottie? Who knows about Dottie and what was that coming out process like, if you did come out? If you haven’t, why haven’t you?

My social media is public for the most part, but I’m not “out” about it to most of the people in my life. My mom knows about it but she doesn’t want to be a part of it, and I don’t want her to be involved either. Doing this is something that I do for myself, it shouldn’t affect anyone else but the unfortunate reality is that it does. It would be different if I defined myself as a Drag Queen or Trans, but I am a part of this weird in-between space that’s more difficult to understand than either of those. Not to say it would be any easier as whole coming out as the aforementioned labels, but people nowadays have a better understanding of who those people are. At the end of the day, it’s not really anybody else’s business. If I had a partner, I would have to come out to them, as a relationship with me wouldn’t work if they couldn’t accept Dottie.

How important is passing to you? Would you say you have passing privilege?

My goal is to look like what I think a woman looks like in my head. That’s not to say other interpretations of femininity aren’t valid of course, this presentation is just what I personally like. So that’s the goal, to “pass”. I’m not sure if I fully attain this goal but I try really frickin hard to.

In your Curi – YAAS Conversation with Giselle, you talk about presenting Dottie in the most hyperfeminine of ways just like Giselle. Tell us more! Giselle loves being slutty, but would you say you feel the same? Or is it something else? Like, why be hyperfeminine?

I would say I try to be more flirty than slutty! I think of femininity and masculinity as very binary definitions, so when I present fem I try to put out the most feminine aura I can achieve. As to why…cause it’s fun! Also if I’m going to take a million hours to do makeup and hair I’m not just going to put on a t-shirt and jeans and call it a day, I’m cranking it up to 11.

You also wear a breastplate when you become Dottie. What made you decide to wear a breastplate? What are some pros and cons that people don’t realize when wearing one?

I think that goes along with the hyperfeminine thing, to me that means you gotta have some cleavage. I’ve wanted one for as long as I can remember, but never had the means to store or purchase one until recently (thank you stimulus!). I got one that is like a crop top, It doesn’t have any straps or anything so it limits the sort of outfits you can wear if you are trying to hide the seams and make them look as natural as possible. Most of my wardrobe either doesn’t really work well with them since it wasn’t an issue for me before, or completely covers them up which sorta negates the whole point of wearing them. They for sure help shape your upper body and take eyes away from the flaws in your figure that way and of course add more curve to your silhouette. If I had to purchase them again, I would maybe get one with neck straps and go a little bit lighter on the skin tone. Also I would go bigger!

Safe to say COVID – 19 has had a major effect on the world. How have you been affected by this pandemic Dottie? Have you felt any benefit or loss during this pandemic with regards to your gender identity?

Before the pandemic, I just began going out in public to bars and clubs en-fem. It was so much fun, but then it was taken away through no fault of my own. I realized that once you take the next step, level up so to speak, it’s really difficult to go back down. Mentally that is. Given the circumstances, I couldn’t go out anyway so I was forced to just be fem alone in my house. That sucked! A benefit was that over the last year, I focused on experimenting and trying harder with makeup. I don’t love makeup, in fact I loathe the process. However I recognize I need to do it to even make an attempt at achieving my goal, so I tried really hard at getting better with it.

Clearly your style is the best. Madi stole what you wore when you did that Instagram Live together.. So what would you say your style is? What kind of fashion sense would you say you have that makes everyone want to BE Dottie?

Thank you! Madi is just creatively bankrupt and can’t come up with any outfit on her own so she just steals my ideas. That’s exactly what I do though. The best artists steal! I really just look at what other people are wearing and either replicate a look like theirs for myself or I put my own twist on it.

What’s your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit? Do you dress differently in private than you do in public?

My favorite thing to wear is probably pleated skirts believe it or not. I think there is something super cute and flirty about a pleated skirt and a top that complements. I for sure dress differently at home than when I go out. At home I try more elaborate shapewear since I know I’m only going to be wearing it for a little while. In public I try to be a little less revealing and more comfortable. Going to the bathroom in public is already stressful enough in the first place, I don’t want to add padding, Spanx, and several layers of tights on to that stress.

What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?

I wish I would have started going out sooner than I did, but I didn’t have anyone I was comfortable enough with to do so.

We obviously know a lot about Dottie in your talk with Giselle… tell us something you omitted about Dottie that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast!

I think we alluded to it with the “Yu-gi-oh!” tangent but I am a huge frickin nerd. I probably like or have some sort of strong opinion on whatever nerdy thing you can think of.

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/other individuals?

If you are struggling with how you look, you just have to keep putting in the work until you get happy with it. That happiness is going to be different for everyone, some people want to just put on a dress and some people need to be medically treated for gender dysphoria. You are the only person who knows what will make you happy, so you should work towards getting there. You only get one shot at living life, so just live it the happiest way you can.

Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?

Of course! I had a really fun conversation and I hope to be invited back in the future. Everybody should join the discord as well!

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Curi – YAAS Convo with Bella Q&A!

Episode 123 features Bella, a crossdresser living in the Midwestern United States. Here’s our Q&A with her.

How old are you and where are you from?

I am a 38 year old male and live in the midwest

What brings you to the podcast?

I am here at the CrossYAAS podcast because I would like to begin the process of being more open about my crossdressing and also would like to help normalize it in the world. The more we put ourselves out there , the more normal it becomes 

Do you consider yourself a crossdresser? Why or why not? How’d you come to that conclusion?

I have  considered myself a crossdresser all my life until recently , before all I knew was that I liked to wear female clothing, but now I feel like I show gender fluid tendencies as i don’t necessarily have to be fully dressed in female attire to be happy. Most days I’m happy with a pair of female  skinny jeans and an Under Armour shirt 

How would you identify with your gender identity? Do you think you fall under the transgender umbrella? Why or why not?

Definitely fall under the transgender umbrella , although  I don’t necessarily like to claim it since I don’t really get as persecuted as they do since I can hide it from everyone I want to hide it from (which hopefully that will change soon ) 

How would you classify your sexuality? How did you come to terms with that?

I think I am straight but bi curious. I have experimented with same sex relationships, and it was alright, I guess I just prefer females 

You’ve talked about your work as a pastor with Giselle in your Curi – YAAS Conversation with her. What made you decide to become a pastor and did you experience any personal conflict with the church and your own gender identity?

I felt it was a calling from above, and I don’t think I personally felt any conflict with the church as it is a private matter. However if it was public, yes they would be in conflict , most likely I would be asked to leave the pastoral staff 

You live in the midwest and are still searching for more outlets to be Bella. What are your current methods in achieving that goal? Are you satisfied with those measures? If not, what more do you wish you could do?

Bella comes out on trips that I make for work , and through doing a lot of buying at Victoria’s Secret and Ross. I also love visiting thrift stores too, LOL. I have a huge closet! I am satisfied for now, but wish I could do more. I have no problem going into stores and buying and trying female clothes in the dressing rooms , however, I wish I could go in there dressed as Bella and have a nice shopping spree. Maybe even one day, I hope to go to Sephora and get a makeover. 

What effect has COVID – 19 had on you being Bella? How has the pandemic affected your life and the expression of your gender identity?

COVID-19 has been hard as there has been less time to dress up since all the kids were home for remote school. So for now, the only times I have for myself is at night or right before I go to work in the mornings.

What would you say your style is? You talk about being thrifty but what does that mean? What kind of fashion sense do you have?

My style is someone elegant / business with a hint of gym girl and classic slut next door in private.

You may not be buying expensive clothes, so then, what’s your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit? Do you dress differently in private than you do in public?

I love cocktail dresses from Ross , and also Victoria’s Secret sportswear. Their sport bras and lingerie are amazing! I did like to dress a bit slutty at home, with really high heels  and tiny short dresses. As I mentioned before, I love wearing mostly skinny jeans out in public, even if you can definitely tell they are woman jeans. They feel absolutely wonderful. 

What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?

I wished I would have been more out in public sooner, so that I could put this struggle behind me and my kids would have been introduced to Bella at a very young age. 

We obviously know a lot about Bella in your talk with Giselle… tell us something you omitted about Bella that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast!

I don’t think I omitted anything important, however I do feel like the conversation moved towards a religious convo and just hope I don’t bored people , I guess I did omit some NSFW things, but I didn’t feel like it had to be shared right away, hehe

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/other individuals?

I would tell them to just be yourself no matter what. People are gonna love you or hate you regardless of what your tendencies might be so come out early to your partners and love ones. Trust me. This will allow you to be happier in your daily life.  Some will, some won’t, so what? I know I sound hypocritical as I am having a hard time doing that myself , but I’m working on it. Once I know my kids won’t be affected by this, I will definitely be more open 

Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?

Definitely,  if you’re listening to this and want to find an outlet, what better way than sharing it to stranger, we only have 5 listeners anyways , LOL. For real though , it felt good to finally open up to someone , even if I have never met Giselle , it felt great having her listen to me and it made me feel like I am worthy, thanks Giselle! 

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Curi – YAAS Convo with Daphne Q&A!

In episode 121, Daphne, a crossdresser living in Florida, comes on the podcast to tell her story. Here’s our Q&A with her.

How old are you and where are you from?

63 years old, Miami, FL

What brings you to the podcast?

I searched up “Crossdressing” on the podcast app and wanted to see what was out there. I found three and CrossYaas was by far the best

Do you consider yourself a crossdresser? Why or why not? How’d you come to that conclusion?

I am, but only because I have the desire, and I’ve done it before. And I liked it.

How would you identify with your gender identity? Do you think you fall under the transgender umbrella? Why or why not?

I don’t think about those things much, and from what I’ve read about the definition of transgender, I would say no, only because I don’t have the desire to dress full time. If someone said that transgender included part-time CDers, then I’m fine with that. It doesn’t matter to me how people categorize these types of things; for me, it’s very personal and I don’t need to fit it into a category. 

How would you classify your sexuality? How did you come to terms with that?

I’m a straight male. I love women. Adore them. And, like most crossdressers, want to express as them, and feel that femininity. I believe that all males are part female, and therefore expressing female-ness is not something bizarre or outlandish–it’s a natural, important expression. I’m fine with being just as I am, so there’s nothing to come to terms about.

You talked about being a late bloomer in terms of being a crossdresser in your Curi – YAAS conversation with Giselle. What took you so long girl? How were you able to suppress those feelings of being Daphne for so long?

It took me a long time to throw off the yoke of society’s guidelines for how we are supposed to act. How I decide to express myself, how I decide to dress, is entirely my business, but it took me a long time to unravel all the conditioning that most males are put through, to achieve the confidence in myself to accept Daphne as a part of me. The suppression of those feelings manifested in powerful, sometimes non-stop lesbian fantasies. So I just lived that way, not really realizing that those fantasies were the way Daphne was calling out to me.

You’re a 63-year-old crossdresser. How do you keep your sexual drive so high? What advice can you offer someone who doesn’t have that high of a libido, and how can one possibly attain it?

A positive life attitude. Lots of masturbation- the fantasies led to lots of hard-ons, so those had to be relieved, right? I believe now that masturbating frequently exercises not only the penile muscle, but our sexual spirit muscles as well. It keeps them alive and thriving.

What effect has COVID – 19 had on you being Daphne? You talk about recently coming out more as Daphne.. But how have you felt about Daphne since the pandemic started?

The pandemic hasn’t made a big difference. Right after the pandemic began, I lost a very close family member in a car accident. I was dealing with that for most of the year, and so coming out wasn’t really on the agenda- grief and adjustment to a new job kind of hijacked my mindset

What would you say your style is? You’re still developing it sounds like, but what do you gravitate towards? What kind of fashion sense do you have?

I don’t dress often- yet- but I lean towards looser skirts and dresses…knee length and shorter. I like the feeling of my long legs being exposed and I’m not interested in tight clothing.

You may not own a lot of clothes as you’re still building a wardrobe. But what’s your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit?

I have nothing right now except two skirts and a bunch of panties…I love my panties…and I’ve seen some really pretty dresses I want to have. So I don’t have a go-to–yet.

What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?

Only that I should have come out to my wife about this at the onset of our relationship. It would have allowed more time for us to process, and it would have avoided her feeling like I kept something secret from her, even though I never dressed secretly while I was with her, I only had the desires.

We obviously know a lot about Daphne in your talk with Giselle… tell us something you omitted about Daphne that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast!

Daphne is sweet, kind, and loves talking to other women. But other than that, no.

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/other individuals?

Don’t let fear motivate you. Be yourself–be HONEST and OPEN with your S.O. – Dont worry about what others (other than job, etc) will think. Live life to the fullest. If someone really loves you, they will work hard to learn and accept you. Come out EARLY in the game. Don’t wait.

Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?

Absolutely! It’s a fantastic forum for CDers to vent, and learn about themselves through others experiences. I love it.

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Curi – YAAS Convo with Ryanne aka Trekkie Q&A!

Episode 108, Ryanne also known as Trekkie, comes on the podcast to tell her crossdressing story. Here’s our short little Q&A with her.

How old are you and where are you from?

I am 40 years old. I was born in the United Kingdom, raised in Canada, and have lived in the US since the early 90’s.

What brings you to the podcast?

I was looking for a community of people who are questioning and exploring gender, but not necessarily focused on permanently changing their bodies or identities.

Are you a crossdresser?

Yes!

What makes you different from other types of crossdressers?

I also enjoy wearing diapers occasionally. Sometimes I just like the feeling of the padding. Sometimes wearing one turns me on. Sometimes wetting and wearing a wet diaper feels good.

How has living in the midwest affected your lifestyle as a crossdresser?

I had remained closer to the friends and family who knew me and accepted me when I was younger, I may have felt more comfortable openly experimenting with gender earlier in life. The midwest is obviously a conservative place, and challenging gender norms is intimidating. It’s a lot easier to keep my head down and go with the status-quo out here.

How would you identify with your gender identity? Do you identify as transgender? Why or why not?

I had not considered myself transgender, until I was challenged by my therapist and the CrossYaas podcast last spring. I suppose the term that fits me best is genderqueer, which is under the transgender umbrella. I don’t feel comfortable using the general term trangender, because it requires so much explaining to land at how I actually feel. I feel somewhere in-between a man and a woman, and it fluctuates!

How would you classify your sexuality?

I am sexually attracted to most, if not all things feminine. I am attracted to women, but it is a confusing attraction. I often want to feel what it’s like to be a woman, and be with a woman at the same time. When I was in high school, I did joke to my girlfriend that sometimes I felt like a lesbian. I felt so much shame just admitting that, that I pushed it aside for a long time.

Are you open about your crossdressing/sexuality/gender? What was that coming out process like?

I am open to a small number of friends and family. The experience of coming out to each person has been vastly different. With my wife, the conversations are ongoing. With people like my aunt and brother, the conversations were quite easy.

In your Curi – YAAS conversation with Giselle, you talk about going out in public crossdressed with your wife. How was that experience for you? How did you get your wife to agree to that? Where’d you gain that confidence from?

It was so much fun! I think the part I enjoyed the most was letting go of all my stress and anxieties. When I’m crossdressing, I don’t feel like myself. I feel like I’ve shed all of the pressures and responsibilities of being the “Man” of the house, and I get to truly have fun! When I was out with my wife I felt vulnerable. I felt cute. I felt loved. And I loved seeing how protective she got. When someone gave us the stink-eye for holding hands, she nearly charged at him!

I didn’t get my wife to agree to go out with me. She agreed all on her own. I just said it was something I would like to try. I asked her to think about it and get back to me. I also suggested I split our time between girl mode and boy mode, so she could still fall asleep next to the husband she knows. I think that compromise was key to our first experience together.

You also discussed with Giselle going to CapCon with your wife, an ageplay convention in Chicago. Can you elaborate more on that? The CrossYAAS listener would love more details.  Would you go back?

I absolutely would go back! It was the most loving and accepting place I have ever been. The people were so friendly and having so much fun. And their clothes were so cute! Lots of people play with gender when they ageplay, so it was really the first time I had been exposed to a real-life group of crossdressers. And I’d be happy to share more details in the future!

You talk about your children with Giselle. How have you approached the crossdressing aspect of your life with them, and if you haven’t, what would be an ideal way for you to do that?

I have been making incremental changes to my wardrobe for almost two years. I started growing out my hair. When it got long enough to get in my eyes, I started borrowing my daughter’s sparkly cat ear headbands. The kids loved it and encouraged it. I think the next thing I did was wear a midriff long-sleeve T-shirt with a neon drawing of the space shuttle on it. They stared long and hard at my exposed belly button, before shrugging it off. When I asked my daughter how she felt, she said she was confused at first, but then wondered why she was confused. She said she realized she likes my shirt and it didn’t matter that it was shorter than my other shirts. She thought it was cute. 

I’m not quite ready to strap on my fake titties and pull up a mini-skirt around them, but I do dress more feminine in daily life. They are now used to seeing me in “girl clothes” and wearing my hair in expressive ways. I have had my nails done, and I’ve worn mascara around them. My eldest daughter also knows my locked office closet is full of dress-up clothes, but I’m not opening it up for her any time soon! My middle child has asked if we could play dress-up together, but we haven’t made it happen yet. I’m excited to see what develops!

How important is passing to you? In what ways do you try or not try to pass?

I have two crossdressing modes, more or less. In the first mode, I am not trying to pass at all. I may or may not have a beard, and I’m wearing a mixture of things found in the men’s and women’s section. I feel this is me at my purest level, just having fun with who I am and what I can wear to make myself feel good. This is how I currently dress around my family. It probably doesn’t count as crossdressing, but it feels good!

In the second mode, I want a divorce from myself to become something else. In this case I am trying to pass, but it’s still mostly for me. I want to feel the makeup on my face, to remind me not to touch it. I want to feel the eyelash extensions tickle my cheek. I want my shoes to change the way I walk. I want to feel the shaper compressing me into an hourglass and the silicone boobies jiggle when I move. In those moments I want to be completely lost in femininity. If I pass, great! It only helps me get lost even more.

What would you say your style is? How did you develop it?

My style is quite juvenile, and I doubt that will change. My least favorite phrase in the English language is “That’s inappropriate”! I like bold colors in simple combinations. I like silhouettes that are shapely and feminine. I like fabrics that feel soft and light against my skin. I like ribbons and bows in my curly hair. Some may call me a Sissy, and in some ways that’s a decent fit. But I never feel humiliated by my feminine side. I want to feel empowered by it.

What’s your favorite thing to wear?

I start with a soft, thick diaper. Not a crappy drug-store brand geriatric bladder control device. A purpose-made adult sized baby diaper from a boutique manufacturer like Adult Baby Universe or Rearz. A tennis or skater skirt with wedge Chuck-Taylor style shoes. A pink midriff top. A choker and dangly earrings (I want to get my ears pierced this summer!!!) And my hair in pigtails.

What do you wish you did differently in your life?

I wish I hadn’t dismissed my questions so many times. I wish I had continued to look inside to embrace what was important to me, rather than looking to others to give me fulfillment.

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender individuals?

Keep asking the questions, and find people who are asking the same questions. If you know there are others out there, hopefully you’ll know you are valued.

Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?

Yes! But wait until you are ready. For me, I needed ice-breaker first. I was very nervous to record, and didn’t feel prepared. Giselle was great at calming my nerves, but I still felt like I was babbling incoherently!

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Curi – YAAS Convo with Hope Q&A!

In episodes 103 and 104, Hope from Tennessee comes on the podcast to tell her story. Here’s our Q&A with her.

How old are you and where are you from?

I am 53 years old and I am originally from Tennessee.

What brings you to the podcast?

Giselle and I met years ago when she started the podcast, and I’ve followed along the entire way. I figured it was time I was on as a guest.

Are you a crossdresser?

Technically yes, but I do not use that term to describe myself often.

Are you open about your crossdressing/sexuality/gender? What was that coming out process like? Do you wish you could tell more people?

I am open to anyone who can understand and stay positive about it. I do not flaunt it, but I don’t hide from it either. 

Were you surprised about the reactions you got in coming out to people?

It’s been a mixed bag for me. For a long time I had no problem telling anyone. I found out in some cases it’s just easier and/or better not to bring it up.

Do you identify as transgender? Why or why not? 

I do personally identify that way. I know that the way I feel about gender and myself and how I present, that it falls under the definition of being transgender.

Have you ever thought of transitioning? Either medically transitioning or socially transitioning?

Yes. I actually consider myself in transition. Because, as we know, everyone’s journey is different. I will likely never take HRT, so the things I do now with diet, exercise and grooming all contribute to the way I present in both male and female roles. 

How would you classify your sexuality?

I consider myself straight.

How important is passing to you?

Passing is important to me as far as blending in when in public. I prefer to go out and not be noticed. So, that is the focus of my transformation.

What have you done to enhance your female persona?

As stated before, I’ve done a lot of training in attempt to build my body to be more femme in shape. It’s not the same as HRT, but it has served me well over the years and I’m proud of what I have accomplished in that way.

What would you say your style is? How did you develop it?

What I prefer is BoHo or vintage style clothing. I could do a better job of developing that look. It something I always work towards. 

What’s your favorite thing to wear?

I have to say jeans and boots with a flowing top.

What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?

I do not live with regrets, I have none.

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender people?

Find your community! There are many outlets for support, but it does take work to find the one that fits you best. Many of us share the same feeling and fears, but you have to look hard to find those with a common ground.

Would you recommend others to come on the podcast? Why or why not?

I have recommended at least one guest already! And I know several others that would be a good show!