Tag: transgender

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Curi – YAAS Conversation with Nicole L.

In episode 135 and 136, Nicole L. comes on the podcast to tell her story. Here’s our Q&A with her.

How old are you and where are you from?

I’m 33-years-old and from Ireland.

What brings you to the podcast?

I love the podcast and really wanted to reach out and find out more about our community and offer my experience as it may help someone listening.

How do you feel about the term crossdresser? Do you agree with the word? Is it an outdated term? Are you yourself a crossdresser? If so, how’d you come to that conclusion?

I prefer the term crossdresser to more derogatory terms like tranny or shemale. I think it’s a self explanatory term. I am a crossdresser because I love being femme dressed up 😊

With regards to your gender identity, you seem to not care about labels really, when you were speaking with Giselle in your Curi – YAAS conversation with her. So how would you classify your gender identity? Do you think we should just get rid of labels entirely?

Labels to me are confusing at times lol. It seems like there’s a new one every year. So to someone that doesn’t know anything about our community it must be even more confusing. But on the other hand labels are important to some people to help them feel like they belong.

Personally I think society has created too many ways to be a person, by that I mean I think we should be able to just be ourselves without judgment or labels, just be the person you want to be. As long as its not harming anyone else what does it matter what you call it 😊

With regards to your sexuality, you seem to be into women as you do have a fiancee (congratulations by the way!). How did you come to terms with that? The idea that you’re into women. Have you experimented at all with same sex relationships?

Thank you 😊 I’ve always respected women and have had girlfriends from middle school onward. I’ve never looked at guys that way. I do find other trans women attractive as I’m attracted to the female form 😊

You spoke about many things with Giselle, and one thing that made an impression was that you do have a 9-year-old son and you expressed worries about him discovering your Nicole alter ego. Do you feel any shame with Nicole when it comes to your son? What steps could you take to help your son understand what Nicole means to you? Or do you want to try and separate Nicole in your relationship with your son?

I don’t feel shame as such, more concern as although even if he knew and was fine with it, I’d be concerned if he told his friends at school as kids can be cruel. I don’t want him to experience ridicule because of me.

I don’t think any steps would need to be taken to help him understand as he’s been brought up to respect others. Unfortunately not every parent brings their children up this way and therefore it’s best to wait until he’s a little older. I will most likely tell him sometime 😊

If Nicole is an alter ego of your male self, what differences, if any, do you notice when you’re Nicole versus you in guy mode?

I’m more relaxed in girl mode. Guy me has his baggage and Nicole doesn’t carry it for him lol

You live in Ireland and you talked a little bit about the unique qualities the Irish have when it comes to the LGBTQ community in terms of acceptance. In your opinion, does the outlook of the LGBTQ community for Ireland look more positive, negative, or the same, and why?

I think its a positive outlook. For the most part I think people want to be more open minded and accepting. The LGBTQ community is supported in Ireland. Gay marriage is legal here and during pride month there are rainbow flags flown everywhere 😊

With over 27 thousand followers on Instagram, and an increasing online presence, how do you feel about being a so-called “influencer?” Do you consider yourself that? What does that even mean to you?

I don’t consider my self an influencer to be honest. If I’m helping people or just making them smile then I’ll keep posting. But mainly I do it for a confidence boost. I’m an extremely insecure person really so, putting myself out there in the spotlight of social media is me pushing myself to be more confident. 

COVID-19 has been a struggle for all of us, but how has Nicole been affected by the pandemic?

Nicole has had it easy lol guy me had some ups and downs but for the most part it’s been OK. Others have had it worse.

What would you say Nicole’s style is? Tell us about your fashion sense and how you developed it!

Fashion has been a turbulent ride 😅 I’ve styled Nicole’s look after many iconic females such as Audrey Hepburn, Christina agulara etc. I’ve just kept colour in my look. 

What’s your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit?

Skater skirts! I love them 💜 also bodycon dresses because who doesn’t love them? They’re sexy! Lingerie obviously 😍

What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?

I wish I could tell 15 year old me that your not a freak, your not alone and that it’s gonna be OK. I wish I had accepted myself sooner, been braver, stronger… Been myself 😔

We obviously know a lot about Nicole in your talk with Giselle…but tell us something you omitted about Nicole that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast!

Well being a crossdresser means you get to see life from a different prospective. You see it from a woman’s perspective. It makes us more intuitive and aware of our partners needs. It’s easy to forget just how lucky we are to experience that thought process as most of us spend a long time trying to suppress it. I say embrace it!

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/genderfluid/other individuals?

Don’t be afraid to be yourself! Don’t be ashamed of yourself! Don’t let the haters get you down! You are different yes, but your uniqueness makes you special and the ones that appreciate that uniqueness are the ones worth your time.

Anything that costs your mental health is too expensive, so if you feel down about purging, shame or dysphoria ask yourself this question… Why am I letting the opinions of those around shape my future?

This world can be ugly and it can consume the unique beauty it holds within. But can be strong enough to weather it, you can be bold enough to be different and you can be bitchy enough to screw you to those who oppose you 😘

How will you approach Nicole moving forward? Does anything change after being on the podcast?

Nicole will stay the same sassy girl she’s become. Her makeup may change her style may alter, but her flare is permanent 😊 the podcast was a great experience. Talking to Giselle really helped me come out of my comfort zone. Also she’s the first crossdresser I’d spoken to in outside of DMs so that was great 😊

Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?

Absolutely YAAS!! It’s an incredible resource for information for both crossdressers and their partners. Giselle is such an inspiration and a credit to the community. 😊

And finally, where can people support and follow Nicole on social media!
My Instagram and Tik Tok user name is x1xnicolex1x if you guys and girls wanna follow me 😘

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Curi – YAAS Convo with Lilly Q & A!

Episode 134 features Lilly, CrossYAAS Video Editor – in Chief and genderfluid individual who comes on the podcast to share her story. Here’s our full Q & A with Lilly.

How old are you and where are you from?

I just turned 24 in August and I’m from Southern California!

What brings you to the podcast?

I started listening to the podcast awhile back, but really started to get more involved when the CrossYAAS Confidential Discord server was created. I was really interested in sharing my own story, but I was afraid to do an interview because I didn’t want my family to accidentally overhear anything. Now that I’ve come out to them though, I have nothing holding me back!

How do you feel about the term crossdresser? Do you agree with the word? Is it an outdated term? Are you yourself a crossdresser? If so, how’d you come to that conclusion?

Personally, I feel like the term “crossdresser” has become a bit outdated and problematic. There’s definitely a certain stigma about the word that I don’t feel as comfortable with anymore. For a while I did identify with the term, but more recently I have realized that I am genderfluid and that the term “crossdresser” didn’t really do the best job of describing who I am.

With regards to your gender identity, you said genderfluid with your chat with Giselle, but do you care to elaborate on that? How’d you come to that specific label for yourself? Do you even like labels when it comes to your gender identity?

I really started to explore my own gender identity a bit more by connecting with others on Discord! For many years, I just thought that I was just a crossdresser, but after joining communities like our very own CrossYAAS Confidential Discord, sharing my experiences and listening to the experiences of others, I started to realize there was more to it than just clothes and makeup. Lilly is more than just a persona that I inhabit when I dress up, she’s her own person. I started exploring my gender identity a bit more, which usually involved a lot of self reflection and asking myself what I really want in the long term. Eventually I settled on genderfluid, although I have also explored the possibility that I am bigender. For me personally, labels don’t matter as much because all I really want is to be happy and comfortable with myself.

With regards to your sexuality, you said in your chat with Giselle that you were into femininity. Can you explain that a bit more? So you’re into everything feminine? Does that mean you’re still heterosexual?

I’m attracted to feminine presenting people, whether they are cisgender women, transgender women, crossdressers, genderfluid, nonbinary, etc.. I guess that would make me bisexual by some definitions, but largely I’d say that I am attracted to women. I’ve never been in a relationship with anyone else however, so this is mostly just speculation on my part. There’s a lot more experimenting I’d like to do before I completely figure things out!

You opened up a lot to Giselle and of the many things that stood out was your challenges with your parents and family. What did it take for you to finally muster up the courage to tell them? Do you think you’ll be able to tell more of your family members down the line? Are you worried about what they’ll think about you?

Having so many supportive friends online was probably one of the biggest sources of courage I had when I came out to my family. When I first came out to my mom, I was chatting with Sierra and another friend and they helped me calm down and take that first step. The same thing happened when I came out to my dad. Madi Millions, a friend of the show, really helped me overcome a lot of the fears that were holding me back. As for coming out to the rest of my family, there are a few people I would like to tell eventually. Unless I decide to transition however, there aren’t too many family members I plan on sharing things with. Their opinions about gender and sexuality are pretty rigid and I can definitely see some of them having a real problem with me being myself.

You also talked a bit about being in the movie industry and your worries about your gender identity being an issue in finding a job. How real is this fear? Have you heard of stories where people cannot find work in that industry because of who they are?

I actually have no real idea if my fears are real or unfounded. What I do know is that building a career in Hollywood often relies on making connections and first impressions. Whether or not me being genderfluid is something that could make or break my career is a big fear I have. Hopefully after I graduate and begin working in the industry I will get a better sense of things.

COVID-19 has been a struggle for all of us, but how has Lilly been affected with the pandemic?

For me personally, COVID-19 made it nearly impossible for me to have much “Lilly” time. I still hadn’t come out to my family yet, and with everyone staying at home, I had pretty much zero privacy. I went almost a whole year without being able to dress and the only thing that kept me sane were my friends. While I couldn’t dress up as Lilly, I still got to be her online when chatting with other crossdressers, genderfluid people and trans women. I actually think this was a big reason I realized that being Lilly was more than just a hobby and that she is a part of my identity.

What would you say Lilly’s style is? Tell us about your fashion sense and how you developed it!

When I first started crossdressing, I swung between super casual and super formal (my first purchases were a pair of black leggings and a red formal dress). After a little bit of experimenting with clothing and style, I think I’ve honed in on a nice balance between the two. My style tends to be pretty put together, but nothing that would be out of place in everyday situations. Most of my wardrobe consists of different colors and styles of tops which I pair with skirts. After Giselle’s wedding however, I’ve started to become a bit more interested in more “glamorous” outfits like the sequin dress I wore.

What’s your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit?

If I had to pick one outfit as my favorite, I’d probably say it’s my light pink blouse paired with a soft brown skirt with golden buttons. I find that I’m always reaching for that light pink top when I dress, and I’ve tried pairing it with practically every skirt in my wardrobe at least once.

What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?

I think one thing I would’ve done differently is come out to my mom and dad at the same time instead of breaking it up over a year. Knowing how they would’ve reacted now it would’ve been easier to get past the awkwardness quickly. It would’ve also been a lot easier on my mom, as she really struggled keeping such a big thing secret from her best friend (my dad).

We obviously know a lot about Lilly in your talk with Giselle…but tell us something you omitted about Lilly that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast!

I’m a huge nerd! My friend’s and I haven been playing Dungeons & Dragons every Friday and Sunday for over 2 years now. I’m the Dungeon Master for a campaign that takes place in the world of Ravnica, a setting from Magic: The Gathering, another game I’m quite fond of. Gender is something that I’ve even started exploring in my games, with friends who don’t know that I am genderfluid. It’s a very accepting environment to roleplay as someone of a different gender or sexual identity, and I definitely recommend that any listeners who are curious try it out. Maybe I’ll host a CrossYAAS D&D campaign in the future… who knows?!

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/genderfluid/other individuals?

Don’t be afraid to reach out to others and share your identity with them. You’ll find you’re a lot less alone than you might think you are. Don’t be afraid to take steps that seem too difficult or impossible either! The biggest thing that stopped me from experimenting with crossdressing for so long was that I didn’t think I would be good enough at it. Things like learning makeup and buying clothes seemed like insurmountable obstacles to me and I spent years holding myself back because of those fears. But once I took those steps I realized how easy it was to just try new things and see how they made me feel. Don’t hold yourself back, get out there and have fun!

How will you approach Lilly moving forward? Does anything change after being on the podcast?

My approach to Lilly and my gender identity moving forward is to keep taking steps to get myself out there. Whether that means hanging out with friends as Lilly, going to weddings or just walking my dogs, I want to feel free to be myself more often. My journey is far from over and I’m excited to see where I’ll be in the next few years. Hopefully I can record more episodes with Giselle and other members of the CrossYAAS community as well!

Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?

Absolutely! I think being able to voice your thoughts and stories with others is such an important part of discovering your own identity. It’s a great way to get out of your own head for a bit and see things a bit more objectively.

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Curi – YAAS Convo with Claire Q&A!

Episode 131 and 132 feature Claire, a 31-year-old genderfluid crossdresser currently living in Portland, Oregon. Here’s our Q&A with her

How old are you and where are you from?

I’m 31 years old and I’m originally from the Midwest of the United States.

What brings you to the podcast?

I have heard many other peoples’ stories and wanted to share mine to pay it forward and in hopes that it helps someone else as other peoples’ stories have helped me.

How do you feel about the term crossdresser? Do you agree with the word? Are you yourself a crossdresser? If so, how’d you come to that conclusion?

I feel that the term crossdresser carries a negative connotation to it.

I would consider myself a crossdresser, however I also feel that the term does not fully encapsulate who I am as a person, where as genderfluid/non-binary seems to be more fitting.

I realized I am a crossdresser, but I feel like it goes beyond the clothes, wig, and makeup. 

How would you identify with your gender identity? You said Non-binary genderfluid with your chat with Giselle. But do you think you fall under the transgender umbrella? Why or why not?

I absolutely fit under the transgender umbrella as my sense of identity does not completely match up with my birth sex. Non-binary/Genderfluid helps me communicate that I don’t fully identify with either gender binaries and that I my motivation to dress up as Claire changes day to day. 

How would you classify your sexuality? How did you come to terms with that?

I would say I’m attracted to femininity, but also to a certain degree pansexual, but I have yet to explore the boundaries of that.

I would say some therapy and introspection have helped me shed the layers of shame surrounding who I am and who I am attracted to.

Also the CrossYAAS podcast helped a ton as well!

You said many things to Giselle, and one thing that stood out was your relationship with your parents. Do you regret not coming out to them sooner? Are you satisfied with how it all went down the way it did?

I personally do not regret telling them sooner. I’ve always had a feeling they wouldn’t react well, and I felt I needed a layer of social support to be able to work up the courage to come out to them without needing their approval. I am happy the way I did it because I felt like they were able to understand that I was serious and that I cared about them. 

You seem so laid back with the crossdressing and your gender identity. How did you get to be this way? You make it seem so easy! What is your secret?

I recognized from a young age that this will always be a part of me, so I kind of accepted that it was here to stay whether I liked it or not. While it has caused some issues with previous relationships, I also know that it has made me a much more empathetic person and I wouldn’t be the person I am today without it. It’s taken me a long time to realize it’s not harming anyone, that it is a form of self-expression, and that my friends, that I’ve come out to, do truly just want me to be happy regardless of how I present myself. Also I realized that most people ultimately are too busy in their lives to care about other people’s life choices, and if they do care that’s just kind of weird.

COVID-19 has been a struggle for all of us, how has your Claire self been affected with the pandemic?

I feel that COVID-19 has been a struggle for everyone. I would say Claire got a lot of time to hone her makeup skills, but similar to everyone was just ready to get back out and socialize. 

What would you say your style is? Tell us about your fashion sense!

I love clothes that make me feel cute. I love anything flowy and practical. It feels nice to wear a high waisted skirt because you can be bloated and still look good. I guess a good portion of my style is dictated by Target as well. It’s super fun to experiment, but currently my style is cute and casual. 

What’s your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit?

I don’t currently have any go-to outfits, but I’d say if I had to throw something on quickly that works in most situations is a nice green wrap dress that has pocket and brown chunky block heel strappy sandals.

What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?

I don’t really have any regrets in life as it has all led me to be where I am today. However, it  would have been nicer if I got to where I am today at a younger age. 

We obviously know a lot about Claire in your talk with Giselle… tell us something you omitted about Claire that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast!

I love music, food, hiking, video games, movies, makeup and oxford commas.

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/genderfluid/other individuals?

Be your best self, experiment, think about what brings you the most joy, and don’t feel shame for what society may not accept. Also put yourself out there more, do things that make you a bit nervous, and experience what life has to offer. 

Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?

For this question, I would have to give a big fat YAAS. 

This podcast has helped me a ton in understanding my dressing and has helped me view my dressing in a non-shameful way. 

The CrossYAAS discord is a wonderful source of support and has absolutely enriched my life since joining.

I used to see my crossdressing as a negative side of myself that I acknowledged, now I see it as something beautiful that makes me a unique individual. 

How will you approach Claire moving forward? Does anything change after being on the podcast? 

I’ll probably approach my Claire side the same as before. I’ll keep pushing myself to put myself out there more. Hopefully my story will resonate with others and inspire them to live their lives more authentically. 

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Curi – YAAS Convo with Stephanie Fredericks Q&A!

In Episode 129, Stephanie Fredericks, a crossdresser and genderfluid individual comes onto the podcast to tell her story. Here’s our Q&A with her.

How old are you and where are you from?

I am 49 years old, I was born in TX, but moved all around and now live in Arizona.

What brings you to the podcast?

I wanted to tell my story because I hope it will someday help someone that listens to this in the future feel comfortable about being who they are. And not fear telling family and friends. It can be hard but it’s not impossible.

Do you consider yourself a crossdresser? Why or why not? Do you even like the term crossdresser? How’d you come to that conclusion?

I used to call my dressing just a hobby, and then I came to terms that I was a crossdresser. And I don’t mind that term because it was exactly what I was doing. As time went on I realized that it has always been something more. There was something more inside me that loved femininity. I came to the conclusion just through time, educating myself, listening to podcasts(especially this one), and deep thought about how I really feel.

How would you identify with your gender identity? You said genderfluid with your chat with Giselle. But do you think you fall under the transgender umbrella? Why or why not?

I identify as genderfluid and I absolutely also feel that falls under the Trans umbrella. I wasn’t sure about that until last year when reading more and more about what it is that defines the Trans umbrella and things just started making sense. One good book I read that helped with my identity was “Seeing Gender” by Iris Gottlieb.

How would you classify your sexuality? How did you come to terms with that?

I always considered myself straight and happily married to a Cis woman. I’m not sure if the fact that I am on HRT changes anything because I don’t feel the need to fully transition as a woman.

Why did you decide to start HRT? You talk about HRT lite… but how did you come to the conclusion to start it? DId you seek a gender therapist beforehand? Did that help?

I didn’t seek a therapist beforehand because after researching micro-dosing and having my practitioner tell me more about it, I knew that it was right for me and probably what my body has been needing to make me feel complete. It’s hard to explain the feeling but it’s one of those feelings you can’t ignore. It was recommended that I now see a therapist while on HRT so I am getting a referral for one.

What’s your biggest fear with this transition? HRT can be a scary word for some, but are you yourself scared?

I’m not scared but some things do still make me nervous. It is going to change my body and some things may be irreversible. I wonder sometimes, if for some reason down the road I feel that it is not working physiologically like I had thought, what happens next?

The thing that stood out in your Curi – YAAS convo with Giselle you discussed your terrible relationship with your ex-wife, who shared the same name as Giselle’s girlfriend from hell, Jenn… What the hell is wrong with her? Why are some of the worst people named Jenn?!

She was greedy, selfish, and just overall not a very empathetic person. And the second question makes me think that someone should do a scientific study on why that is.

All jokes aside, you’ve come out a better, and stronger human being because of that relationship with your ex-wife Jenn. How did you do it? What advice can you offer people who are coming out of a bad relationship?

Thank you. I’d definitely say I learned a lot from that relationship and came out stronger. I was young and I probably married too “spur of the moment” in the first place. But, once I saw some warning signs that we probably weren’t compatible I should have sought help and not just hoped things would get better naturally. My advice for coming out of a bad relationship is to take a break, as long as you need, and reassess what type of person you really want to be with and if you do meet someone new, take your time and make sure they are the right one.

Your wife Gwen sounds like a wonderful human being! How do you maintain a great relationship with her? What is your favorite thing about her? Why is she so awesome!

Gwen’s amazing! And we have a great relationship because we care about each other, pay attention to each other, and are always making sure each other has what we need. We also spend lots of time together because we enjoy each other’s company, but are also able to go do our own things if needed. She’s beautiful and great in many ways but my favorite thing about her is how she can handle any social situation, even if it’s uncomfortable. I lack that skill and have learned a lot from her.

COVID-19 has been a struggle for all of us, how has your Steph self been affected with the pandemic?

There were some things that I wanted to do more as Steph in public but being at home a lot actually allowed me (Steph) to thrive, not only because I dressed more but because I had a lot of time off to educate myself and really think more about who I am inside.

What would you say your style is? Tell us about your fashion sense!

When glamming up I love Pin up, polkadots, business casual, and sundresses. During the work day I’ve been experimenting with some genderfluid clothing.

What’s your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit?

Favorite things to wear are sundresses. Also I dress every night in femme Pjs, a bandana, and eyeliner. It’s just my nightly comfort go-to.

What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?

I think all of us say this but I wish I would’ve started dressing and coming out earlier in life. But it’s all situational and everyone’s life is different so I am also extremely happy with where I’m at at this point in my life. I’m very lucky.

My Grandad died at 90 and he was always a funny man and a good prankster. After the funeral my family was cleaning his house and found some pictures of him dressed in lingerie in his later years. They didn’t make fun of him but laughed and cast it off at how this was probably his last prank to the family. I’m glad they thought of it that way and not something negative but I looked at those pictures and saw a sad man that probably suppressed his entire life that he was a crossdresser or maybe even more.

We obviously know a lot about Steph in your talk with Giselle… tell us something you omitted about Steph that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast!

I wished I would’ve stated how much I love helping younger crossdressers on social media. When I first went public it was for validation for me and yes, at first I was interested in numbers and comments. Then younger CDs started reaching out to me for advice and I loved it and realized that just me being public and visible and confident was really helping some others to come out of their shell and also not fear showing their true selves to the public. It makes me feel good when someone says that I gave them the confidence to be visible.

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/other individuals?

Read everything you can and learn about who you are. Get help if it’s difficult because it can be. And don’t be afraid to ask people with experience. They most likely went through most of what you are going through.

Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?

I may have been one of Giselle’s most nervous guests, even though she didn’t think so, and her interview style quickly conquered my fear and I easily told my story. It was therapeutic and made me hope that someday in the future my story may relate to someone new to this and is wondering how to navigate it. No matter where you are in your experience with this it will help you to talk and probably help someone else that is listening to the episode.

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Curi – YAAS Convo with Dottie Q&A!

In Episode 128, Dottie, a crossdresser from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania comes on the podcast to tell her story. Here’s our Q & A with her.

How old are you and where are you from?

I’m 27 and from Philadelphia.

What brings you to the podcast?

My friend Madi invited me to the discord server so I started listening to some episodes after joining. I think it’s great to hear voices of other people in the community and their stories. You can learn a lot about yourself from empathizing with the experiences of others.

Do you consider yourself a crossdresser? Why or why not? How’d you come to that conclusion?

I don’t really like the term “crossdresser” but it’s the simplest way to convey to somebody what I basically do so I use it.

How would you identify with your gender identity? Do you think you fall under the transgender umbrella? Why or why not?

I call myself genderfluid, which falls under the “T” umbrella to me more than it does “Q” or “+”. Honestly, I think labels are stupid and overrated but we still kind of need them to define things for people who have trouble understanding it. Basically, I present masculine most of the time, but when I want to and can I present feminine. I’m still the same person at the end of the day, just some days I’m prettier than others!

How would you classify your sexuality? How did you come to terms with that?

I don’t really know how to define it exactly, I just know I’m attracted to feminine people. I don’t have an issue with any specific bits downstairs, I just know I just find femininity very sexy and attractive. It’s part of the reason why I present the way I do in the first place, I want to feel good about my appearance and look like somebody I would be attracted to. So I’m whatever that is, I like girls!

Are you public about Dottie? Who knows about Dottie and what was that coming out process like, if you did come out? If you haven’t, why haven’t you?

My social media is public for the most part, but I’m not “out” about it to most of the people in my life. My mom knows about it but she doesn’t want to be a part of it, and I don’t want her to be involved either. Doing this is something that I do for myself, it shouldn’t affect anyone else but the unfortunate reality is that it does. It would be different if I defined myself as a Drag Queen or Trans, but I am a part of this weird in-between space that’s more difficult to understand than either of those. Not to say it would be any easier as whole coming out as the aforementioned labels, but people nowadays have a better understanding of who those people are. At the end of the day, it’s not really anybody else’s business. If I had a partner, I would have to come out to them, as a relationship with me wouldn’t work if they couldn’t accept Dottie.

How important is passing to you? Would you say you have passing privilege?

My goal is to look like what I think a woman looks like in my head. That’s not to say other interpretations of femininity aren’t valid of course, this presentation is just what I personally like. So that’s the goal, to “pass”. I’m not sure if I fully attain this goal but I try really frickin hard to.

In your Curi – YAAS Conversation with Giselle, you talk about presenting Dottie in the most hyperfeminine of ways just like Giselle. Tell us more! Giselle loves being slutty, but would you say you feel the same? Or is it something else? Like, why be hyperfeminine?

I would say I try to be more flirty than slutty! I think of femininity and masculinity as very binary definitions, so when I present fem I try to put out the most feminine aura I can achieve. As to why…cause it’s fun! Also if I’m going to take a million hours to do makeup and hair I’m not just going to put on a t-shirt and jeans and call it a day, I’m cranking it up to 11.

You also wear a breastplate when you become Dottie. What made you decide to wear a breastplate? What are some pros and cons that people don’t realize when wearing one?

I think that goes along with the hyperfeminine thing, to me that means you gotta have some cleavage. I’ve wanted one for as long as I can remember, but never had the means to store or purchase one until recently (thank you stimulus!). I got one that is like a crop top, It doesn’t have any straps or anything so it limits the sort of outfits you can wear if you are trying to hide the seams and make them look as natural as possible. Most of my wardrobe either doesn’t really work well with them since it wasn’t an issue for me before, or completely covers them up which sorta negates the whole point of wearing them. They for sure help shape your upper body and take eyes away from the flaws in your figure that way and of course add more curve to your silhouette. If I had to purchase them again, I would maybe get one with neck straps and go a little bit lighter on the skin tone. Also I would go bigger!

Safe to say COVID – 19 has had a major effect on the world. How have you been affected by this pandemic Dottie? Have you felt any benefit or loss during this pandemic with regards to your gender identity?

Before the pandemic, I just began going out in public to bars and clubs en-fem. It was so much fun, but then it was taken away through no fault of my own. I realized that once you take the next step, level up so to speak, it’s really difficult to go back down. Mentally that is. Given the circumstances, I couldn’t go out anyway so I was forced to just be fem alone in my house. That sucked! A benefit was that over the last year, I focused on experimenting and trying harder with makeup. I don’t love makeup, in fact I loathe the process. However I recognize I need to do it to even make an attempt at achieving my goal, so I tried really hard at getting better with it.

Clearly your style is the best. Madi stole what you wore when you did that Instagram Live together.. So what would you say your style is? What kind of fashion sense would you say you have that makes everyone want to BE Dottie?

Thank you! Madi is just creatively bankrupt and can’t come up with any outfit on her own so she just steals my ideas. That’s exactly what I do though. The best artists steal! I really just look at what other people are wearing and either replicate a look like theirs for myself or I put my own twist on it.

What’s your favorite thing to wear? Do you have a go-to outfit? Do you dress differently in private than you do in public?

My favorite thing to wear is probably pleated skirts believe it or not. I think there is something super cute and flirty about a pleated skirt and a top that complements. I for sure dress differently at home than when I go out. At home I try more elaborate shapewear since I know I’m only going to be wearing it for a little while. In public I try to be a little less revealing and more comfortable. Going to the bathroom in public is already stressful enough in the first place, I don’t want to add padding, Spanx, and several layers of tights on to that stress.

What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?

I wish I would have started going out sooner than I did, but I didn’t have anyone I was comfortable enough with to do so.

We obviously know a lot about Dottie in your talk with Giselle… tell us something you omitted about Dottie that you wish you told The CrossYAAS Podcast!

I think we alluded to it with the “Yu-gi-oh!” tangent but I am a huge frickin nerd. I probably like or have some sort of strong opinion on whatever nerdy thing you can think of.

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender/non-binary/other individuals?

If you are struggling with how you look, you just have to keep putting in the work until you get happy with it. That happiness is going to be different for everyone, some people want to just put on a dress and some people need to be medically treated for gender dysphoria. You are the only person who knows what will make you happy, so you should work towards getting there. You only get one shot at living life, so just live it the happiest way you can.

Would you recommend others to come onto the podcast? Why or why not?

Of course! I had a really fun conversation and I hope to be invited back in the future. Everybody should join the discord as well!

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Curi – YAAS Convo with Hope Q&A!

In episodes 103 and 104, Hope from Tennessee comes on the podcast to tell her story. Here’s our Q&A with her.

How old are you and where are you from?

I am 53 years old and I am originally from Tennessee.

What brings you to the podcast?

Giselle and I met years ago when she started the podcast, and I’ve followed along the entire way. I figured it was time I was on as a guest.

Are you a crossdresser?

Technically yes, but I do not use that term to describe myself often.

Are you open about your crossdressing/sexuality/gender? What was that coming out process like? Do you wish you could tell more people?

I am open to anyone who can understand and stay positive about it. I do not flaunt it, but I don’t hide from it either. 

Were you surprised about the reactions you got in coming out to people?

It’s been a mixed bag for me. For a long time I had no problem telling anyone. I found out in some cases it’s just easier and/or better not to bring it up.

Do you identify as transgender? Why or why not? 

I do personally identify that way. I know that the way I feel about gender and myself and how I present, that it falls under the definition of being transgender.

Have you ever thought of transitioning? Either medically transitioning or socially transitioning?

Yes. I actually consider myself in transition. Because, as we know, everyone’s journey is different. I will likely never take HRT, so the things I do now with diet, exercise and grooming all contribute to the way I present in both male and female roles. 

How would you classify your sexuality?

I consider myself straight.

How important is passing to you?

Passing is important to me as far as blending in when in public. I prefer to go out and not be noticed. So, that is the focus of my transformation.

What have you done to enhance your female persona?

As stated before, I’ve done a lot of training in attempt to build my body to be more femme in shape. It’s not the same as HRT, but it has served me well over the years and I’m proud of what I have accomplished in that way.

What would you say your style is? How did you develop it?

What I prefer is BoHo or vintage style clothing. I could do a better job of developing that look. It something I always work towards. 

What’s your favorite thing to wear?

I have to say jeans and boots with a flowing top.

What do you wish you did differently in your life? Do you have any regrets?

I do not live with regrets, I have none.

What advice would you give to other crossdressers/transgender people?

Find your community! There are many outlets for support, but it does take work to find the one that fits you best. Many of us share the same feeling and fears, but you have to look hard to find those with a common ground.

Would you recommend others to come on the podcast? Why or why not?

I have recommended at least one guest already! And I know several others that would be a good show!

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Curi – YAAS Convo with Kelly Mason Q&A!

In episode 89 and 91, Kelly Mason, a crossdresser from Michigan shares her crossdressing story with the podcast. Here’s a little Q&A we did with her.

How old are you and where you from?

35 turning 36 in a few weeks. I’m from Grand Rapids, Michigan

What brings you to the podcast?

I love what are you doing with the podcast and the space you’ve created. And I love to talk, especially about myself! Lol

Are you a crossdresser?

I am!

Do you identify as transgender? Why or why not?

I do see myself as transgender. It is an umbrella term in my eyes. Getting more specific, I usually say bi-gender as I feel that describes my experiencing life as both male and female.

Did you ever have thoughts on transitioning? What made you decide to transition or not transition?

I certainly do. The primary factor in me not transitioning up to this point is that I would miss my male existence. I’ve never been unhappy with who I am, just desired to make more of myself known to the world. It’s not something I’ve ruled out, the future is unknown and that’s okay. Being raised in such a socially gendered society, it’s easy to think I must be male or female and not give acknowledgment to the possibility of both. 

How would you classify your sexuality?

Bisexual. I am primarily attracted to females and trans females. But I do find the random guy here and there turning me on.

Have you explored your sexuality? Was that challenging?

I have a little bit. I’ve been with a guy a couple times. It was hard to push myself into the water if you will. It’s even helped me get a better understanding of what I like in my hetero experiences.

Are you open about your crossdressing/sexuality/gender?

I am open to two people in my life, my ex-wife and current girlfriend. I’ve started to socially connect with some others in my area through Bumble BFF as a woman. Outside of that, my entire world knows my male existence.

Do you wish you were more open about your crossdressing to others?

I do wish it was easier to be open about it. Ultimately, I respect the relationships I’ve developed with people and understand the impact it could have. Just as my experience as Kelly is important, so are those relationships. So it may happen someday, but it will be a very well thought out decision.

Do you wish you came out sooner as Kelly?

Even though I haven’t as of yet, I do wish I came out younger. Just because I realize now that the book of me is constantly getting longer, and the longer it gets, the more of a “surprise” it will or would be.

Are you in a relationship? Does your partner know? 

I am. And she does.

You talk about taking girl staycations in your interview with Giselle, why did you decide to do that?

So my stay-cation/girl-cations have been super important to me. In both cases it allowed me to essentially have a barrier free experience as Kelly. Like from wake up to bed time, which was a huge step from getting a “couple hours” in the bedroom.

How important is passing to you?

Too important lol. It is though. If I like how I look…male or female… I am happier. 

What would you say your style is? How did you develop it?

Oh gosh… I’m all about cuteness. So I’m not so much into short dresses and crop tops (everyone should be thankful for the latter), I love a jeans and cute top look, leggings for days, I have so many pairs of flats.

What’s your favorite thing to wear?

My absolute favorite is rocking a cute dress with a cardigan, I can go heels or flats with it…but ugghhhh I also love black leggings and a Jean jacket with some white canvas shoes…I can never decide.

What do you wish you did differently in your life?

Taken this head on sooner. I have been curious forever and only in the last 7-8 years allowed myself to truly discover this.

What advice would you give to other crossdressers?

Be honest. To yourself and those close to you. When I first confronted this and was married, I tried to play it off so many times. And the most pain I inflicted was just not being as honest as I could’ve been. 

Would you recommend others to come on the podcast? Why or why not?

Absolutely! It was such a fun chat and experience. And we need more exposure to normalize this. I want to hear all of your stories!

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Curi – YAAS Convo with Chris D’ Orso Q&A!

Episode 79 features Chris D’ Orso, a crossdresser from New York who comes on the podcast to tell his story and how he’s using his crossdressing to benefit the world!

https://dressember2020.funraise.org/fundraiser/chris-dorso

How old are you and where you from?

I’m 44, and I’m from Rochester, New York.

Are you public about your crossdressing?

I guess wearing a dress every day for a month and posting pictures on Instagram is just about as public as it gets. =)

How important is passing to you?

It’s not. I’m just a guy who’s wearing a dress, because they’re comfortable and fun. (And to raise money for charity.) And if there’s a young person out there who sees me, either in person or on social media, and says “if that guy can do it, then I can be myself too,” then that’s a huge win even if I never raised a single dollar. But at the same time, I’m taking this seriously. I’m wearing appropriate shoes, and tights every day for warmth. I felt like clomping around with hairy legs and sneakers would be making fun of this movement and what it stands for.

How do you identify in terms of gender?

I’m a cisgender hetero male.

Do you consider yourself transgender? Why or why not?

No. I have friends and family members who are transgender; I have enormous love and respect for those who have to deal with the emotions and pressures and stresses, both internal and societal, every day that come with not identifying in the gender you were assigned at birth. At the end of the day, I take this dress off and I can walk through the grocery store in jeans and a concert t-shirt and be completely invisible. Not everyone has that luxury. It goes back to what I said above, though. I’m wearing dresses in the manner they’re intended – with “women’s” shoes and tights every day – because ultimately, they’re just fabric so we’re not walking around Target naked. I will not make light of it by being “a guy in a dress,” even if I’m just a guy in a dress.

What’s the worst thing about being a crossdresser?

Nothing seems to fit quite right! Everything’s either super loose in the chest or super tight on my arms. I find myself WAY more self-conscious about that than I thought I would be.

What’s your favorite thing to wear? What would you say your style is?

Two weeks in, I think I can actually answer this! I’ve been most comfortable in knee-length dresses that have sleeves. Sweater dresses have been fantastic, because they’re super comfy and you can absolutely wear them all day.

What is Dressember?

I was inspired by a few friends who did Movember, growing mustaches to raise money for cancer last month. I did a little googling to see if there was anything fun like that for December, and stumbled across the Dressember Foundation. The challenge each year is to wear a dress (or a tie, but ties are boring) every day for a month while bringing awareness and raising money for victims of trafficking. I had a few dresses in the closet from previous outings, so I ran the idea past my wife, who was completely supportive. Then I talked with some local friends, who generously gave me nearly two dozen dresses that they were going to donate anyway. I’m going to wash them all and bring them to donate at the end of the month, continuing to pay it forward.

Besides Dressember, what would you like to do with your crossdressing moving forward?

Folks have told me that I’m going to have a hard time going back to pants — but I’ll tell you, it gets cold in Rochester in January. I’m going to be quite happy to wear pants for a while! But I’ve crossdressed for Halloween a few times, and I’d love to do stage drag again because that was quite a rush.

If there’s one thing in your life you could change, what would that be?

I need to get serious about losing some weight. I’m really surprised at how self-conscious I’ve been this month about what I’m eating, actually, because of what I’m wearing. As a result, I’ve lost six pounds.

What advice would you give to other crossdressers or those questioning their gender or sex?

Be as honest with yourself as you can possibly be. I know it’s hard, but please know that there are people out there in the world who can help.

Why did you come on the podcast? [Would you recommend others to come on the podcast?]

When I first did this, I set my fundraising goal for $500. I figured if I could get friends and family to donate a few dollars each, I’d be thrilled. Once I blew past that goal, then $1,000, and then $2,000, I realized that I could actually do much more with a bigger audience. I did a little more googling and found quite a vibrant crossdressing community online that I knew would be supportive of what I’m doing. [And yes, absolutely!]